So last night at 3:00am I woke up, looked over and swore that my buddy Nathan was in my bed. I sat there for 5 minutes - out of it - trying to figure out wtf was going on. Why is Nathan in my bed? Why is Kari not in my bed?

Apparently the back of Kari's head looks sorta like Nathan's when it's dark and 3am. So I sat there, trying to figure this out - sort of realizing that I'm retarded, it's obviously dark, and Nathan is not in my bed.

Finally, I came up with a brilliant idea to solve the mystery once and for all. I grabbed the person in my bed's ass.

It was Kari's ass.
Whew.