I've been thinking about this for a few years, so nothing directly sparked this blog... I've actually been consciously not writing this blog due to related situations coming up. I didn't want people to think that they sparked it.

So that said, I was just sitting at home and suddenly got a strange urge to rant! hurrah!

Here it is...

Will someone tell me why the hell eating shitty food is cool? Why is a person who orders cottage cheese instead fries suddenly lame? Why are people who order salads or drink diet pop always "on diets?" Moreover, why is being on a diet even a bad thing? Why is enjoying quality, less-fat food uncool?

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my fair share of crappy foods every now and again - and I get a good …

I'm a big fan of rating music so that I have playlists of things that do not suck. However, I've come to a dilemma. What happens when a song is so horrible that it's amazing? I mean, I want to know that it's horrible, but I also want to know that I love it.

For example, Ill Mitch is this Russian Rapper - who may or may not be real and/or serious. He's definitely not the most talented rapper - in fact he's quite the opposite... but I really love it, haha. Do I rate his stuff high or low? And what if he has a song that's just amazing good? So now I have 1 for real 5 star song by Ill Mitch. Then all the others that are so bad they're good I've rated a 4 star? This is confusing. The same goes if he has a song that is so bad it's …

Peep this e-mail a friend of mine just got at work:

For SAFETY Reasons:
Fortunately (for safety) or unfortunately, we can NO longer have musical headsets in the office.
This is in protection of hearing loss since volume cannot be monitored.
This will be effective Monday, July 23rd.
You can have a radio at your desk; however, the volume must be turned low.
Thank you for your cooperation.

wtf is that??? The corporate world is out of control.

What if you get speakers and your music offends other people? What if your Christian co-workers take offense to rap or metal? What if the non-Christian co-workers take offense to your religious music? So now, not only do you have to listen to radios - you have to censor your music …

So, over the past couple years of living with Kari I've noticed something strange. There is a drastic difference in how much work I get done when Kari is home as opposed to when Kari is not home. See, when Kari is gone, I am so ridiculously productive. I sort of let my A.D.D. run wild working on somewhere between 3 and 10 different things in one evening. Sometimes I even throw in some skating and working out. It rules.

However, when Kari is there, I barely get anything done - and I can't figure out why. It's not her fault at all. I mean, it's not like she's bothering or distracting me. We don't even hang out together that much at night. I really don't get it. She is normally in a completely different part of the house than I …

This phrase is not defined in most dictionaries, so I thought I'd help out.

I · love · you [ahy luhv yoo]
-idiom

1. Goodbye: Honey, could you pick up some meatloaf while you're at the store? ... I love you, bye.
2. I will be right back: Hey, I'm gonna go up to the bar and grab a beer. I love you.

The overuse of the word "love" kills me. Seriously. It completely defeats the importance of the word. Why do people feel that their significant other needs to be reassured of their love before making a trip up to the bar? Don't you think they already know? And if they don't, say it when it means something. Don't kill the meaning of the word, by repeating it non-stop in meaningless context. You're just hindering the overall feeling …

In July of 2005 i wanted to make my site nicer, more organized, and more fun. To do this I added Tagging. Tagging is this really nice feature used by popular sites like Flickr, YouTube, Google, etc. Tags rule. They invoke a lot of coordination in a web site and are just fun.

I decided to use this to tag all my photos of people I have photos of. It was a huge task and took me a really long time, but in the end it turned out to be awesome. Everyone likes pictures of themselves, no matter how non-vain they claim to be. Also, everyone googles their name from time to time (no matter how non-vain you claim to be). So if I tag things nicely, my friends will probably find photos of themselves on my site.

Besides the advantages I've …

A-ha, the long awaited Brooks-Baby-Rant article.

First of all I want to say that I mean no offense to any of my friends who have children, I just don't want them. Also, I don't hate children - in moderation. I mean, I do have some pretty rad younger cousins. So, that said, ready?

A random happy/high-pitched person says, "Oh! you've been married almost a year now? That's so great! When are you expecting kids!?"
I reply, "Oh! The little dears! Never!" *smile*

So yeah, apparently there is some book somewhere that I haven't read (obviously), and nor has Kari (surprisingly). This book apparently has this awesome master plan with step 1 being marriage and step 1.2 being pregnancy. This book sucks. It's so ridiculous and has …

Seriously it is soooo ghetto. I usually try to avoid it at all costs. But I came in today to return some headphones that I got in florida and didn't like - it straight sucked. I sometimes forget how ghetto and sucky Walmart is, and then I return only to regret it - immensely.

And you know what the worst part of walmart is? It's the customer service department. Because it is there that even non-ghetto people act ghettoly. But when you have ghetto people acting ghettoly in a ghetto store, it's horrible. I had a woman in front of me today returning a toolset that she apparently bought for her husband. She was like, "he didn't wan'em. Said they're cheap!" No kidding, lady. She was also returning some opened dog pee pads, among …

This is going to be so "college" and "lame" and "sappy" and "retarded" of me. So I apologize up front.

I've been meaning to write about this since the first time I saw SLC Punk, which was some time in college. In the movie, there's a quote by the main character, Steve-O (Matthew Lillard), that was interesting to me. Actually there were several quotes that sparked some thought - which is weird for such a "B movie," but this one in particular really got me.

Steve-O and Bob are visiting their friend Mark, who's talking about all his sweet/expensive stuff - laserdiscs, shower head, remote control, waveless waterbed, etc. He's doing so in an almost "bragging" manner - even though he's not meaning to brag at all. To which, Steve-O …

It may seem weird that I have so much to say about bathrooms. However, if you think about it, you spend a fair amount of time in a bathroom. Seriously, you're in there at least 5 times every single day. It's something that everyone does but never really talks about the politics of. This is the exact reason that I've written my "theories" or thoughts about things that happen in restrooms.

If you haven't read my other bathroom rants, here they are:

My Bathroom Theory (No. 1): Washing Your Hands
My Bathroom Theory (No. 2): The Toilet Seat

Moving on...

Urinals. Urinals are seriously designed to be one of the most awkward pieces of ceramic ever. They (combined with men's restrooms) are the worst-thought-out design ever. I mean …

WTF are bad words? haha - yeah I said that. But seriously, what is swearing? Why is swearing wrong? I've been thinking about this for a long long time. How can a certain word be bad? Who says it's bad? Seriously, it is just a word.

I first started thinking about this in high school. Someone (maybe it was me - I don't remember) said one of those words that isn't quite a swear word, but it's not quite a good word either - like "piss" or something. So I made an argument saying that the word wasn't even a swear word... *ding* I immediately thought to myself, "wait... what is a swear word anyway?" During that ding someone next to me acknowledged my swear word comment by saying, "well yeah but you still shouldn't say that" …

It's rant time! Ok, sometime in 04 I wrote about washing your hands after peeing and how it's stupid to do. Since I wrote the article I've paid a lot of attention to bathroom etiquette (spelled, e.t. ummmmmmm). I've noticed lots of funny things, when people wash their hands, when they don't etc. If you're sitting in a stall, and a dude can manage to slip in, pee, and then slip out without washing their hands and without you seeing them, they do so almost 90% of the time. I also noticed some people just dry their hands off after peeing - no washing at all, haha. And the difference of people that wash their hands at work and not at work is amazing. A lot less people wash their hands in a less professional environment - it's all about …

I went to college with a guy named Derek Johnson. I didn't really know him too well - except that he collided with Kari's truck when driving through a parking lot once. But yesterday Kari got to his blog through Tara's blog and pointed out this article, which is pretty hilarious. And it totally follows 90% of the things that Kari and I say about babies. So I'm going to repost....

But really, I have to know: at what point did everyone vote that it’s time to get hitched and make babies? Did nobody ever take health in high school? I saw that film. Looks like a wet Saint Bernard trying to get through the cat door.

Yeah. You just think about that.

And did you miss the classic, blockbuster hit, Look Who’s Talking (or any of its eight …

Washing your hands after using the bathroom. I've been thinking about this quite a lot lately. This joke (with several variations) comes to mind but it goes something like:

There's a kid that just gets done peeing and starts to walk out of the bathroom. A guy says, "Hey kid, didn't your mom teach you to wash your hands after you pee?" The kid then replies, "No, she taught me not to pee on my hands."

I mean, how necessary is it that I wash my hands after taking a pee? I don't pee on my hands. How many germs are residing on my recently washed penis? I wake up every morning, take a thorough shower, put on my freshly washed underwear, and start my day. Then, throughout the day my hands touch a thousand different things, but my …

For some reason I'm in a rowdy/ranting mood today.

I really think it's funny when people give me crap for listening to the insane clown posse (icp). They get all worked up about a group I listen to? haha, wtf. It's funny because most of the people that diss them have probably heard 3 of their songs, and they were probably songs from 7 years ago. And it's not like I make all the "dissers" listen to it... though maybe I should, ha.

Ok, show me a band that satisfies the following:
-Doesn't want to get played on the radio (and hasn't).
-Doesn't want to get played on Mtv (and hasn't).
-Has over a million fans.
-Has five gold albums.
-Has two platinum.
-Put out 20+ CDs (50+ including singles and mixes).
-Started a record label.

Man, there are so many crazy political people in this country. I seriously can't believe how many people get so stressed about politics. The caucus was yesterday, so Des Moines swelled with thousands of die hard political people. I met one group that drove from Texas just to get their stupid heads counted... and then they'll drive back home. wtf, why???

hmm, I wonder what political party I am...

Nah, no I don't.

Kari spilled an entire "styrofoam leftover container" of Pasta Capri in my car. It's a very oily pasta with fettucine, portabella mushrooms, and artichoke hearts.

On Friday, my friend Cedric had the day off, so we emptied his cube. We also moved boxes and a printer in and labeled everything with "Charles Brown" moving tags.

On Saturday, Kari and I went to a Des Moines Buccaneers Hockey game. They are in the same league as the Cedar Rapids Rough Riders... (First of all, I'm not one of the super cool fans for teams full of 18-20 year olds, but they are definitely fun). I have gone to quite a few Rough Riders games over the past 4 years, and had a lot of fun. The facility is really nice, the fans are nuts and always funny, the team is pretty decent and there are cool things in between periods. Since I moved to Des Moines, the state's capitol, I figured that the games would be just as cool, or …

I am writing this out of rage after placing my first order on half dot friggin com.... half.com sucks, and sucks hard. first of all they didn't give me a buy button next to the thing i wanted to buy.... so i got mad. and then, after i finally got through to the checkout and was ready to buy my ultra-cheap CD. I find out that they're ultra-stupid and don't accept bleeper bloppin paypal, wtf!?

I hate half.com

There are a few things I hate. And one of them is discussion about female hygene. Especially commercials on TV and emails like this:

There is an ongoing problem of tampon applicators being flushed down the toilets. When you flush them, they end up in a pit where there are pumps to send the waste up to the main drain line. The applicator will get trapped in the pumps and damage them, unless I remove them, which is an unpleasant task and takes me away from my other duties, which costs the company money.

PLEASE use the receptacles provided for disposing of these items .

Thanks to those of you who have been using the proper receptacles - I really appreciate it!

Thank you,
Reggie Hamilton