Memories of Grandma Betty
She was born on Valentine's Day in Southern Missouri, and had clear Southern Missouri roots.
I was her first grandchild, and we always had a special bond because of it. She often called me her "number 1,” which always made me feel a little awkward - especially around my sister and cousins... but she wasn't exactly known her social awareness, haha.
As a toddler, she and Grandpa John took me fishing in Canada, and I think that kinda kicked off what summertime meant for me growing up.
When I think about the summers of my youth, I think about Grandma Betty.
Golf
She taught me how to play the great game of Golf at a young age and beat me in about every single round that I’ve ever played with her.
I'll never forget the time that she lined young me up with a 5-wood on the tee box of hole 15 at Byron Hills - a 170 yard, par 3. She stood behind me, got my stance and grip right, lined me up, and gave me pointers while a group of guys behind us patiently waited. My ball flew straight to the green, hit the pin, and fell nearby. Afterward, the guys behind us asked if she'd line them up as well, haha. She loved to tell that story.
Grandma Betty paid for my season pass to that same golf course until I graduated high school. At least weekly, we'd walk 9-holes at her mall-walking, "get your heart rate up" pace. We'd have a great time, sipping on gatorades.
She was always coaching me.
As I got older and a little stronger, she'd rein me in and scold me for "trying to kill." (She also had a knack for leaving noun phrases off of sentences, or using what I assume were very southern phrases like, "who beat?" instead of "who won?"). I'll never forget the confusion on a couple friends faces when she asked them, "who beat" after a few games of pool in her basement, haha.
It's quite hard to stay on track with all the memories...
In the late 90s, grandma played in the Quad Cities Classic Pro-Am tournament (now, the John Deere Classic) and asked me to be her caddy. I showed up wearing the biggest, baggiest cargo shorts and a grungy-ass white tee with a big smiley face on it, haha. Grandma never, ever cared or commented on how I or anyone else looked or dressed... even when we dressed like complete assholes. I always admired her for that. Up until the last time we golfed together, I was breaking course dress codes and she’d just kinda shuffle me around the side of the club house to the first tee box.
Anyway, on one of the holes of the tournament that I caddied for, she let me hit one off the ladies tee while we were waiting for the pros to get to their tee box, haha. On another hole, I found and picked up a stray ball... which was a pro's ball... that he was playing. So, needless to say, our pairing represented our rural, river town golf course roots incredibly well.
Grandma Betty had 3 holes-in-one over her career and played well into her 80s. She "was always her best when she was playing 3 times a week" and golf was constantly on the TV at her home.
I wish I had a few more rounds with her.
Rapids City
Grandma and Grandpa lived 3.5 miles from us, and as soon as I was old enough to bike unsupervised, I began riding the rural, country roads to her house.
She gave me my first job, mowing their giant lawn while grandpa was off working on the railroad. If I wasn't there to mow, I was there to hang out in their swimming pool, play billiards in the basement, or play with new technology.
Grandma was somehow always ahead of the curve on tech. She always had interesting cameras and was the first person I knew with a computer, a cell phone, a CD player, satellite TV, the internet, etc. I'd go over there to "surf the web" and download pop culture images and art from bands I liked. We played a ton of solitaire and explored everything that 90s Microsoft products had to offer.
When grandma betty got a CD player, I was blown away. Most of her collection was hyper-christian, but she had one album that leaned contemporary pop: Amy Grant - Heart in Motion. I'd crank that CD over there because it was the best she had. Shortly after, grandma took me and my cousins to see Amy Grant at the Mark of the Quad Cities, hahah. My first concert. “Baby babay”
...
There might've also been a time where a couple young boys stayed at her house and curiously opened the Playboy channel on her satellite TV, hahah. This charged their credit card and she gave us a good talking-to on the golf course about that. We denied everything.
Religion
Man, my grandma was on this planet to preach. Completely addicted to Jesus, it was nearly impossible to talk to her for 5 minutes without it coming back to God. How was the drive? The Lord got her through. How’d my wife get MS? Grandma asked if she'd been eating too much shrimp (which the Old Testament obviously condemns, haha).
Like I said, she wasn't always the most socially aware.
But she did care a lot about other people, prayed for them daily, and was always great about sending birthday and anniversary cards or phone calls. The calls were usually singing telegrams and the cards were almost always hand-drawn and included a bible verse that she needed to share.
When I was a young teen, my grandma even offered to pay $1,000 to each of her grandkids if they abstained from sex before marriage, lol. There were contracts and everything... but we decided to not revisit that agreement upon my wedding day.
Birds and Art
Grandma Betty was fascinated by birds. She had many feeders, houses, books, knew all the calls, species, etc. She loved them so much that she got a small pistol to shoot any squirrel that got anywhere near those bird feeders, hahah.
The ones she seemed to love the most were Cardinals, hummingbirds, orioles, blue birds, gold finches, and quails. They inspired her art and eventually inspired me as well.
She was an artist, man. Aside from the hand drawn cards, she was an avid painter and great at watercolor. She loved painting cardinals and had many of her paintings hung in businesses around town. Grandpa was her framer.
Fun quirks
Man, Grandma Betty loved playing games, but she hated if you were bad at them. If you made a dumb mistake, she'd just undo your turn and redo it for you, hahaha. I distinctly remember times where we'd just ask if he she wanted to play for everyone, hahah. Skipbo, Uno, Mancala, that cracker barrel golf tee game, yard games, whatever. She was down.
She was also always in a hurry, always ready for the next thing. “Well, John” is a phrase that I’ll hear until I die because it was always her signal to leave. I actually have a funny story about that as well...
One time, when I was visiting them in their Arizona winter home, we were having lunch at a Cracker Barrel. As we finished up eating, she said, "Well, John" and got up and went to the car. Grandpa looked at me and said, "I'm not sure what she's in such a hurry for," and then ordered another cup of coffee, hahaha. We sat there and just chatted for a bit while Grandma waited in the car - likely filing her fingernails or using her fancy gold gum stimulator toothpick thing. Those were her passenger seat tasks.
She always wanted to be naturally healthy, take care of herself, eat right and tell you why the thing you were eating was right (or wrong)... even if her interpretation of eating right didn't always align with everyone else's. I can still hear her telling me that carrots are good for my eyes, milk for my bones, etc.
...
Getting Grandma Betty laughing to the point she couldn't catch her breath was always a treat.
Man...
I’ll always remember that laugh.
Finally
I have so many more memories that I could continue writing about, but a few more fond bullet points…
- Breakfast at Lusiani’s / Brother’s
- Putting the top down on the Cougar convertible and taking cruises to get Butterfinger Malts at Whitey's Ice Cream
- Tubing in Missouri
- My first Cardinals game - She loved the Cardinals
- Visits to Arizona, Sedona and the Grand Canyon
- The slight hoarder tendencies (you never know when something might be useful later, or "hey, that's still good")
- The medicare gifts of diabetic socks and other pharmacy treasures
- The prepper kits and silversol... if you know, you know
Grandma Betty and I didn't interact as much in my adult life, but looking back, it's obvious how much of an impact she had upon it.
She was the first person I called after I got my hole-in-one.
She really was a special lady... and she's the reason I have a cardinal tattoo on my shoulder.