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Every morning, I wake up to a song called, The Power Motherfucker by Captain Ahab

Doing yardwork and grilling pizzas for family today earned me 122 flights of stairs, 23,000 steps, and roughly 65,000 calories of pizza.

Where do all the iPhone cables disappear to?
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At Home Depot. This old black dude walks up, points to one of my forearm tattoos and says, "you're not gonna belie… t.co/AFdi1Rwg8f

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  • lil baby tree frog hangin on my shed shutters
  • Caught Kari before running some errands... I love looking into our garage and seeing these cars.
  • Talked shit about all the emo hip hop out right now and my office mate, Sul came through with the...
  • Debadged.

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Rilee's Big Walk

So, we're dogsitting Kari's parents' dog, Rilee, right now while they're traveling... and before I go out of town tomorrow, Kari wanted to see if she could walk both dogs at the same time. Our dog is kind of an asshole on the leash, just letting his nose pull him every which way, and Rilee is kind of annoying to walk with as well. She really pulls on the leash and is one of those dogs that violently kicks all 4 feet, tearing up the lawn after every time she pees or poops or whatever. Walking them together was gonna be a chore.

So, we went on the test walk. Kari was holding both leashes and I was just there for support.

There were a couple minor twisted leash issues, but aside from that, everything was going fine... until Rilee had to take a shit (a fairly malty, non-solid shit at that). While Kari was fumbling with both leashes and trying to get a shitbag out, Rilee proceeded to ... read more

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Hi, I'm Derek Brooks

I'm a 37.14 year old midwestern American who enjoys engineering, traveling, partying, and extremish sports.

Most of my life's latest happenings are on this page, but you can also check out what I'm up to today and what I did yesterday.

If you'd like to know a little more about me you can check out my bio - and don't forget to check out my photos!

Last seen in Des Moines