My Bathroom Theory (No. 2): The Toilet Seat
It's rant time! Ok, sometime in 04 I wrote about washing your hands after peeing and how it's stupid to do. Since I wrote the article I've paid a lot of attention to bathroom etiquette (spelled, e.t. ummmmmmm). I've noticed lots of funny things, when people wash their hands, when they don't etc. If you're sitting in a stall, and a dude can manage to slip in, pee, and then slip out without washing their hands and without you seeing them, they do so almost 90% of the time. I also noticed some people just dry their hands off after peeing - no washing at all, haha. And the difference of people that wash their hands at work and not at work is amazing. A lot less people wash their hands in a less professional environment - it's all about impressions.
Ok so enough on that - if you want more check out Bathroom Theory (No. 1).
So now for my new thought - the toilet seat. This one drives me CRAZY. I hate hearing girls complain about this, hate it. It makes me want to kick their little power trip stool right out from under them, haha. Ok, this is what I'm sick of hearing, "why don't you put the seat down after you pee!?!" "wtf, why don't you put the seat UP after YOU pee?" To which a clever girl will usually reply "more bathroom visits are spent sitting down than standing up." Followed by a snobbish, "I told you so" look. Kari did this to me just 2 days ago, haha.
Seriously, does it matter if the seat is up or down? Why don't you look at the seat before you sit down? Do you sit in the middle of a room hoping you don't fall to the floor? No, you look for a seat, if it's there you sit on it. The same goes for a bathroom. What kind of genius thinks, "I'm gonna walk in here and not look at what I might be sitting on!" I might fall into some really cold water and get a soaked backside, or worse yet, the person before me may have forgotten to flush and I may fall into something much worse. OR an even funnier situation... someone could have peed all over the seat and then you would yell, "why don't you put the seat up when you pee!?!" "wtf, do you want it up or down?" "I want it up AND down!" ... w-WHAT?
When I go to the bathroom the first thing I do is observe the seat, if it's up and I want to pee, I begin to pee. If it's down and I want to pee I put said seat up - and then I pee. If I have to hawk a dook, I don't run into the bathroom covering my eyes, giggling, and gamble with the dryness of my backside as I plunge myself toward the toilet.
So... look at the seat, position it where you want it, use the toilet, and go on with your freaking day. When you are done with the toilet, just leave the God forsaken seat alone. If you sat, leave it down, if you stood, leave it up. OR you could really trick a chick and put the lid on the toilet! Next time the blind girl goes to sit down she's gonna sit on a cold seat and possibly pee all over it and her legs, that'll show her, haha.
Ok so enough on that - if you want more check out Bathroom Theory (No. 1).
So now for my new thought - the toilet seat. This one drives me CRAZY. I hate hearing girls complain about this, hate it. It makes me want to kick their little power trip stool right out from under them, haha. Ok, this is what I'm sick of hearing, "why don't you put the seat down after you pee!?!" "wtf, why don't you put the seat UP after YOU pee?" To which a clever girl will usually reply "more bathroom visits are spent sitting down than standing up." Followed by a snobbish, "I told you so" look. Kari did this to me just 2 days ago, haha.
Seriously, does it matter if the seat is up or down? Why don't you look at the seat before you sit down? Do you sit in the middle of a room hoping you don't fall to the floor? No, you look for a seat, if it's there you sit on it. The same goes for a bathroom. What kind of genius thinks, "I'm gonna walk in here and not look at what I might be sitting on!" I might fall into some really cold water and get a soaked backside, or worse yet, the person before me may have forgotten to flush and I may fall into something much worse. OR an even funnier situation... someone could have peed all over the seat and then you would yell, "why don't you put the seat up when you pee!?!" "wtf, do you want it up or down?" "I want it up AND down!" ... w-WHAT?
When I go to the bathroom the first thing I do is observe the seat, if it's up and I want to pee, I begin to pee. If it's down and I want to pee I put said seat up - and then I pee. If I have to hawk a dook, I don't run into the bathroom covering my eyes, giggling, and gamble with the dryness of my backside as I plunge myself toward the toilet.
So... look at the seat, position it where you want it, use the toilet, and go on with your freaking day. When you are done with the toilet, just leave the God forsaken seat alone. If you sat, leave it down, if you stood, leave it up. OR you could really trick a chick and put the lid on the toilet! Next time the blind girl goes to sit down she's gonna sit on a cold seat and possibly pee all over it and her legs, that'll show her, haha.