Stupid College! (i am sad)

20 years ago

I just got a good slap to the face as a reminder that November marks the 6 month anniversary of my graduation from Cornell. This isn't sad because I think I'm getting old, because I don't... It is sad because I got a friendly letter from the Iowa Student Loan Liquidity Corporation which is conveniently located 9 blocks from my apartment.

My debt to Cornell starts today... And the scariest part about this billing statement is that nowhere on it is the total amount that I owe or how many months/years this is supposed to take. I will probably pay forever...

Stupid, stupid Liberal Arts education. Why didn't I go to a state school??? Maybe I should make double or triple payments or something and put less money in the bank. Or I could drive down the street with a mask on and delete my name from the database...

i'd run down the street with a mask on and delete ur name tha'd be the easiest....maybe

AHHHH, this is making me more mad by the minute. like... i am not happy.

even if i make triple payments every month, it will still take me 3 friggin years to pay this thing off. wtf??? this will make me poor again.

i HAVE to make at least triple payments or else i will seriously go insane. i HATE debt and have never really had it. i need to either:

a) sell drugs

b) get a raise

c) get a second job

d) hack the student loan place

e) steal money

f) win more poker

g) get a good idea for something to sell/market

h) all of the above

maybe i should just make quadruple payments. that will make it take just over 2 years. GRRR, i am still mad. i want to pay for this in like 5 months!!! STUPID CORNELL! I HATE YOU!

Hey Derek,

Here's an idea.

Why don't you get a second job at a pharmacutical selling (legal) drugs, work really hard to earn a raise so that you can enter that high stakes poker game. When you win there, plus steal some of the guy's money sitting next to you, but still need another $5,000 you can use your second job's computer to hack the student loan data base. Then you can write a how-to get out of student loans manual and market that? You know, it just might work :)

Or you can make your parents pay for it...

if my parents decided to want to pay for this, i would be forever thankful... but there is no way that that will happen. maybe i can talk them into paying for a third or something... then i can pay it off in 2 years by making triple payments.

kids, don't ever go to college, EVER!

Dude, I'd totally buy drugs off you

dude, i would totally air mail them to you.

i'd go with option d

Just have girl, and then stick them in a male-dominated degree at a private school (engineering, computer science, etc.). Their education won't cost you a dime.

Not only will they be heavily favored by the profs, but they'll get a TON of tutoring from the other desperate boys, and the program will give them MASSIVE scholarships to entice them to enroll.

The only downfall is that 4 years usually makes them stuck up, extremely non-technical for someone with a technical degree (comes from relying on the boys too much), and snobby. That's another conversation though..

i think i like your first idea better, greg

yeah, ::laugh::, I'm pretty jaded it took 2 years of 4.0 grades (20hours/term) before I got *any* scholarships and Kettering handed out much better ones to femals who got significantly lower grades than I did.

The second idea isn't exactly politically correct :)

BTW, how are things?

i say you....drive down the street with a mask on and delete your name from the database