I write, occasionally

Here's a collection of 648 pieces of nonsense that I've written over the past 23.51 years.

  • Big Brown Titties in the Viper Convoy at the Motor Inn

    It's 8:00 AM and today is already good. I checked my mail this morning and had the Iggy Pop & Peaches - Motor Inn vinyl. Felix has this really really good mix on it. Very hard hitting - good club music. I've been looking for the record for a long friggin time. Nobody could order it, no websites had it... apparently it was just a promo or something. But Vinyl Exchange in the UK hooked it up, w00t!

    Also I drove next to this decked out RT-10 today on the way to work. Looked sooo good. I pass by someone with a viper about once a week on the way to work. There are way to many rich pricks in this area... and I wish I was one of them, hehe. (I heart cars)

    It's also fun to work next to camp dodge. The Army convoys rule. H1s, giant …

  • Mustangs want me

    Alright so my MAFS went out right? I called several dealerships and junkyards trying to find this part. The prices ranged from $325-$680. And I found another guy that would give me one in trade of a case of beer. Well that guy sucked at communicating, so I sucked at trusting him. I don't know... no options were being presented, which normally doesn't happen to me. So it had to be something else

    Yesterday I pull into my apartment and the "super tuner buff" was outside his garage working on one of his cars. I rolled down my window and told him to listen to my car. He's like, "Ah it's missing, check the plugs and wires." This is a drastic difference from the $680 MAFS. Spark plugs are about $8 for 4. So I got them, put them in …

  • Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen: divide by 2 add 7

    So today has been pretty crappy due to my lame car... but my buddy Tanner just informed me that today (June 13) is the Olsen twins' 18th birthday. Now, even though they're legally dateable and pretty hot. I don't know if I could date them. I mean, the obvious reason being they are famous and I am not. But think about dating an 18 year old when you are almost 23. There is probably a slight maturity difference.

    HOWEVER, another friend of mine, Cedric, informed me of this dope rule that was passed along to him. It is the "divide by 2 add 7" rule. See, you take your age, divide it by 2 and add 7 to it. This magic number is the age of the youngest girl you should date and get away with it. So if you're 14, the youngest girl you …

  • Cars are tricky, Iowa Cops are fishy, and Iowa Cubs are funny

    Holy day. This AM I had to wake up early to take my car to the shop to get looked at. It has been idling really weird and cutting out. After talking to a few people I came to the conclusion that it was the Mass Airflow Sensor (MAFS). The shop called at 10 this morning and told me I was right. Then they told me that there were 3 problems.
    1. They would have to order it from Mitsubishi/Eagle.
    2. The part would take 2 weeks to arrive.
    3. The part costs $680.

    This is lame news... Jon, my mechanic, said that I should find one online or something and install it myself to save about $600. I agreed and went to pick my car... because it was time to go to the icubs game that Pioneer paid for today, w00t.

    When I was leaving the shop …

  • OQO

    Oh man, I hate tech and my want/need for it all the time. OQO is releasing their "PDA" this year. It is so dope. Slightly bigger than I'd want it to be, but I could definitely live with it for all that it does. Although, I might have to carry a man-bag... or fanny pack. Good thing the 80s are back, ha, stupid 80s.

  • specs
  • video

    But anyway, it is so incredibly sweet. Cost and size are the only issue I have. It will be about $2G and is about 5"x3.5"x1". So it's about as thick as my phone and as tall as my phone, but 3 inches wider. I don't know though... so dope. The fact that it functions as a desktop when on the dock (with full keyboard and monitor) is such a good concept. I wonder if it sync's like a normal PDA... or even if …

  • I love Apple and their B.S. iPod

    Man, even though I hate to say it, Apple customer service is insanely awesome. I called them a couple weeks ago to see if it was still covered under warranty, and it was (with about 8 days to go). There were a few complications because I didn't have my receipt and part of their system said I was out of warranty, while the other said I was still in warranty. Anyway, they were awesome and got everything straightened out and were able to service my iPod. Every time I called Apple Care their was less than a 5 minute wait and the people were really cool... sorta like Microsoft.

    So yeah, they overnighted me packaging to send the iPod back to them in. The package even had tape in it so I could tape the box back up, ha. I overnighted it …

  • 1 Year Anniversary.

    Starting today Kari and I have been together 1 year!!! haha, actually today I have been at Pioneer for 1 year... wtf that went fast. I really have no idea how long Kari and I have been together... she has no idea either so we're straight.

    Anyway yeah a year out of college... I have some nice furniture. I've been to Kansas City, Minneapolis, Denver, Chicago-twice, Saint Louis-twice, and Detroit. I got an Iowa License. My hair has grown about 8 inches. I have a goatee. I've gained about 10 pounds (stupid stupid desk job). I got really good at tech decks. I learned to ollie a skateboard and drop in on skates. I've gotten a salary increase. I started a company with Nick. I've gotten a lot of new electronics. My car is faster.

  • Cornell Graduation, Renaissance, and Skating.

    3 day weekends for life, yo. So Saturday was Cornell graduation. It was alright... the speaker was insanely boring. I didn't see any of my old CSC professors, which was sad. But I saw Lane Dunlop, Savody Phe, and a few others that I haven't seen in a long time. After graduation Kari's dad took us (my family, their family, and a couple friends) all out to eat at Vino's. We had a special menu that he and the chef picked out, awesome food.

    Yesterday Kari and I went to the renaissance festival with my cousins. We saw Chris Meulners there, haha. (Owner of Hilltop Bar and Grill). There are a lot of weirdos at those fairs. But also a lot of funny people, good food, and good shows. I sort of want a samurai sword now.

    Last night …

  • Fire

    Yesterday after I got home from work and the cab, I decided to go skate at the church down the street for a while. The whole time I was there, I saw this helicopter just hovering about 100 yards down the road from me, wtf? I figured that the news must have been watching me...

    Well, after a while, I went back to the apartment to get my car and go somewhere. Only, some cop was blocking me in. There were also a ton of people at the office, which had closed 2 hours earlier.

    A long time later I found out that an apartment building burnt down in my complex.... which explains all the cops, the helicopter, and the busy office. How the hell does that slip by you when you're about 100 yards from it, haha. Where were the billowing …

  • Lightning, Tornados, Floods, Bow Fishing

    I usually try not to write unless big things are happening... because blogs get annoying when people talk about every detail of their lives. But man so many things have already happened this week.

    Yesterday the road to was flooded over on the way to work. Stupid water. It is seriously so high right now. When I finally got there, I look down at my front tire and saw a screw sticking right out of the middle of it. ...I was wondering wtf that clicking sound was sunday night when driving around, haha.

    I also found out that the second half of the Dark Lotus - Black Rain tour has been cancelled which seriously seriously pisses me off. I was so pumped about it. Although I think Richie and Mitch are still going to come visit. We …

  • My Last Real Weekend at Cornell

    Well this was the last weekend of the school year for Cornell College. Everyone will be done Wednesday and moving out except for seniors - who have to stay until graduation on Saturday. So I guess Friday night will be the last night of 'going out' in Mount Vernon... but it'll be lame because only senior's will be there as will a lot of family.

    So the weekend was decent. I bought Kari some K2 Fatty's so she can skate with me. I also bought her the Tiffany's mesh ring for graduation. Stupid graduation is so expensive.

    Friday, Kari and I saw these young skaters in Marion. I walked in and the kids about pissed their pants, haha. "dude you look exactly like bam margera. that scared the crap out of me, i really thought you were …

  • Better, Closer, Warmer

    So a while ago I made a "new design" for derek.broox.com, but I wasn't able to upload it because harper's server went wack on me. Anyway, everything is kosher now so I finished it up and uploaded it today. The only reason I really redesigned is because all my friends are starting to build sites and the list was too big for the header above... So I added a column on the right and put them there. The new links are Cedric and Aaron.

    While I was at it, I decided to make the site a little more compliant. All of the javascript works in Mozilla now. (stupid mozilla). I also added random survival tips to the right side, which I've been collecting from my "Worst Case Scenario" calendar. The tips will change every day (well they're …

  • Xtreme Nation Demos

    So, I just got back from Saint Louis with Aaron, Zach, and Jordan... It was so much fun.

    Friday, I got on the tiny plane for my hour long flight to STL, haha. The plane was small enough to where we had to board from the tarmac, hehe. We stayed in Chesterfield, which is a lame lame town. There is nothing to do at night... at all. We ended up walking around the town, swimming, and by the end of the night we were beating the crap out of each other. We got into some pretty good punching, slapping, and kicking games. We all had huge bruises on our arms, welts on our backs, sore stomachs, and sore nutbags. I even got jacked in the face by Jordan, haha.

    Saturday we showed up to the demo which was sooo much fun. Xtreme Nation is …

  • Kraus is gone but the burger lives on

    Today was Chad Kraus' last day at Pioneer... weird. So here's a little story of him and his time here...

    He started the same day I did almost a year ago. The punk actually got the job I applied for, hehe whatever, I write web apps (roxor). Anyway, chad was fun because he always fell asleep in meetings. He also made lots of funny faces and was a big alcoholic.... haha, j/k.

    For a few months we put random food (pickles, pepper bar, donuts, etc) in one of his drawers. It took him a few month's to find it and when he did, it was gross and he was mad. Kraus' family also has a big involvement with Dairy Queen; a lot of times kraus would go home to eat hamburgers for lunch. So Nehru started calling them Krausburgers... which caught …

  • Kevi turned into a girl... and that is sad.

    KeviAtWork: i have to confess something to you that will piss you off for the rest of the day
    KeviAtWork: i got a cat last night
    Derek R Brooks: i dont even know what to say to that
    KeviAtWork: :-(
    Derek R Brooks: i am disappointed
    Derek R Brooks: and sad
    Derek R Brooks: :-(
    KeviAtWork: dude
    KeviAtWork: this cat rules
    Derek R Brooks: that is the worst oxymoron i've ever heard
    Derek R Brooks: you are a pussy
    KeviAtWork: haha
    KeviAtWork: man, i need the internet at my house so i can post I Against I
    Derek R Brooks: you need a 22 at your house so you can shoot your cat
    KeviAtWork: no

  • Poker, Wedding, etc.

    Eh, so I guess I should write something on my site. The weekend was decent... Friday night was another 9 player no-limit hold 'em tournament at Nehru's. I took 2nd place in the first game, got out early in the second, and took 4th place in the third. Nehru's garage makes me jealous... 3 car garage, refrigerator, 2004 M3, 2002 Prowler, etc.

    Saturday I had to drive to Mount Vernon for Casey and Jay's wedding. Catholic weddings are weird. The reception was better than the last wedding... even though the DJ was a dorkface. Luckily Cassie saved us and took us home.

    Nick and I have a big a site to get done this week... lots of work to do. My car will be very happy with my extra cash though, hehe. I can't wait to see my buddies on …

  • INTAKE'D!!!

    I got a new intake pipe from ebay yesterday. dsmtuners.com tells you that it's the first step you should take (along with a conical air filter) when modding your car. However, I'm finding out that most intake pipes don't really do anything for a turbo 2g DSM. The Injen intake (which is very similar to the intake I got) is dyno proven to not increase horsepower. The only thing that it does is look cool and make the turbo/BOV sound cooler.

    There were also a lot of things wrong with this product from importblowoutsales. First I noticed that the inside is very very rough, but I guess this makes no difference. Even the Injen intakes look this way. Then I noticed that this might not seal very well. Also, only 1 of the hose clamps …

  • Theta Formal and Kari's Car

    This year Theta Formal was in Dubuque on the Miss Dubuque dinner boat, which was nice... definitely something different than normal. It was funny because a few of the girls had just gotten back from a Carribean Cruise, so they thought that our small dinner boat was HILARIOUS.... it's a friggin dinner boat on the Mississippi and it costs $35 a person, what do you expect? It's sorta like how my car is really really funny to ride in after riding on a bus.... err... wait.

    Anyway, while on the boat, I spilled a drink on myself and Kari spilled marinara sauce on her dress, we rule. After that we all went back to our hotel where we swam and hung out. It was fun and some of the thetas are 'slightly above average,' so that makes the 'not …

  • Kraus and Saint Louis

    Wow, what a weird day. It looks like Kraus (aka krausburger aka santa kraus) is leaving Pioneer to join the family business. The punk already bought a house down there on the water with a jetski lift... wtf? That'll be friggin awesome.

    In other sweet news, Soap is flying me to Saint Louis in a couple weeks to do a couple demos and hang out with Aaron and Jordan... hopefully Zach can come to.

    Also, Nick and I just got 2 new web jobs for Truespin.

    BIG THINGS goin on, BIG THINGS.

  • My friends have websites

    So, I'm starting to get a lot of friends with web sites, which kinda sucks because I've maxed out the space that I left for my friends' names above the friends link on the header. I added Dave Conger and Nehru Cheddie to the list, so check out their sites. Nehru is a guy I work with and fellow car enthusiast and Dave is a dude I know from my Soaping web sites and through short films, etc.

    Also, if you actually click the friends link, you can see some news from my buddies' sites... that is, IF they have an RSS feed. (if you're on that list and you don't have a feed, you should get one. If you're using PHP/MySQL, I can hook you up with a script to generate one).

    If I get anymore friends, I'll just start removing the less cool …