so, for the record - and so i remember next time.



i sanded down the countertop with 220 grit on a triangle mouse attachment for the pictured sander. apparently in the spots i concentrated on, it basically polished the wood - laying the grain on top of each other and sealing all of the pores. this prevented the stain from getting in.



we put some 120 grit on the random orbital attachment, sanded down the light spot, and reapplied stain.



so next time, prior to staining, use random orbit ~120 grit on the entire piece... especially if the stain is dark.