I write, occasionally

Here's a collection of 654 pieces of nonsense that I've written over the past 24.95 years.

  • Sun Prairie's Snowboard DJ Took an Oil Leak

    This weekend I was at home again... Friday was a little weird because we found out that someone had broken into Kari's apartment garage and put a different padlock on it. After a ton of calling around, yelling, being lied to, calling the cops, finding bolt cutters, etc - it turned out that Sun Prairie rented out her garage without telling her. This is awesome because Kari still has stuff in there - stuff that we needed this weekend. Sun Prairie Apartments in West Des Moines suck so so bad. Kari and I both have had really bad experiences there. Soon I'm going to buy sunprairiesucks.com or something and let everyone know how they do business. Then I will link to it from everywhere, the people will know, and I will win. I've already …

  • Supergrub 2

    I don't know if anyone here knows about Supergrub... but when I was 15 we had to make a superhero movie for a class in High School. It turned out awesome and we all got good grades. The original cast was Me, Jeremy Ludin (Grub), Scarlet Brooks, Jeff Ballard, and Andy Mead. Well, a year or so later, in 1998, Me and Jeremy Ludin (Grub) teamed up with Boone Ebel and started to film the sequal. Supergrub 2: Intense Supergrub Action.

    We never finished the movie, probably because it was insanely retarded and basically just a big goof off... but last night I got out the raw version and edited what we had so far. So click here for (what was going to be) the best movie ever. omg.

    P.S. The time you spend watching this masterpiece is …

  • Steppin into 2005: Chicago Style

    It's 2005, so I guess I shuold write about New Years in Chicago to party with Harper.

    Friday night, Kari and I went to this pretty cool little bar/kitchen called Viand to hang out and have a martini. Then we met Harper, Saresh, Megan, John, and Mike (who is a deron miller look alike) at Rezas. The food was soooo good - persian food or something. We got lots of pitas, hummus, soup, dill rice, etc. After dinner we welcomed the new year with Scottv and AbeFroman at this dive bar called Gold Star. We made lots and lots of noise and did a fake countdown to piss people off, haha. Next we went to Kill Hannah's practice loft for the big afterparty. The place was so so packed. I met a lot of people including a couple guys from kill hannah, …

  • Christmas 04

    OK, so Christmas was really good this year. It was nice to see everyone. Plus Kari and I gave a lot of good gifts. ...and I got tons of awesome stuff.

    Christmas Eve we went to Kari's parents house for food, presents, and games. Then on Christmas day we went to my parents house for more food, presents, and games. I got so many power tools, lots of DVDs, a blingin belt buckle, etc.

    Ninja was pretty annoying to take around. He was crazy with Kari's dog. Everytime he'd lay down, chomp would want to play and vice versa. Luckily he slept a lot at my parents house. Today Kate was saying that if you can't put up with a dog, there is no way you can handle a kid. ...omg, I would kill myself if I had a kid. I've wanted to kick this …

  • It Worked

    A couple weeks ago I asked yall to help me get a free iPod. Today I got a $300 20gb iPod in the mail for free, haha. This isn't supposed to happen. I mean, this is an upgrade from my 10gb which I paid $250 for. This one is twice the size, has a better battery life, and is the newest generation.

    Haha, Free iPods are fun.

  • Denver - Vic's Graduation

    Man, I have been sick the last few days. Besides that , kari and I flew to Denver to go to her brother, Vic's, graduation, and to help him pack to move to Naperville. It was a pretty blah weekend. Friday we went to the graduation, shopped, went to PF Chang's with Vic's friends, and then saw A Series of Unfortunate Events. It was all fun, except I left my friggin debit card in an ATM. I was so mad. I need money!

    Saturday we all packed and hung out. See, In Kari's family we eat, help people move, and take pictures. Basically we get fat from eating, get a workout from moving, and get to document it all with photos.

    Today we flew home. Flying was not that fun this weekend. Normally I love it, but airports were a little …

  • Sidekick II'd!

    So, finally I got my Sidekick II. Since I haven't told the story on my site, here it is, once more. omg.

    I ordered my sidekick on November 30 - which was supposedly the last day of the $250 in rebates sale at Amazon. I was super stoked, I even paid for 2-3 day shipping so I could get it faster. After it was shippped, UPS's website said, "Billing Information Received." Which means they never picked it up because Amazon lost it. After 3 days of this, I emailed Amazon and was like, "Yo wtf, where's my phone." And they were all, "You can track that at UPS." So I emailed back, "Yo, no I can't, where's my phone?" And then they were like, "That boy's an A-hole, we're not emailing him back!"

    So 10 days after I ordered it (Friday) I …

  • Cornell, Celebration, and Ninjas

    Ah, what a weekend. Kari and I went to Mount Vernon and Cedar rapids to have a 'going steady celebration' with our parents. Friday was open so I totally planned on breaking Cornell - because I love breaking Cornell. So, I called friends to meet me there - Kevi, and Jeff. Soon, I realized that both friends are really, incredibly lame. Jeff had to hang out with his gf and Kevi had to either sit at home or hang out with his gf, or both. Lamers. But anyway, I ate at Lincoln Cafe - so good (it was in Oprah Magazine once, haha), hung out with lots of girls, saw old friends at the bars, and walked around campus until 3AM or so. I was only mildly destructive without my friends there. Basically I just took pictures and looked pretty. I …

  • Help me, Help you

    I need your help. I need it bad. Please please, help me get a free iPod. I have 2 completed referrals, and need 3 more (unless Nick and Zach complete theirs, then I just need 1 more - so do it, punks). This really works, my buddy harper just got one.

    Once you sign up, then your friends can sign up under you and you'll be on your way to a free ipod as well. It's a fun game.

    Click this link, do what it says, and I will love you. Whatever offer you sign up for, you can always call and cancel. Help me, help you.

  • Thai Rap in the Sky With Tight Pants

    This weekend was pretty good. Friday, Nick and I went to Jazzy Willy's to watch Luke rap. The first dude that went on, Gai Den Gadema, was real real good. Then we saw Renaissance, a group from Iowa City. They brought these 2 white guys with them, one was their DJ and the other was some random guy. Apparently the white guys were trying to start a rap group so they got to perform 2 songs. When I saw the one guy come onto stage he was wearing small jeans, a red CCCP shirt with a stretched out neck, plastic glasses with wire frames around the lenses, and had long hair parted on the side. I totally expected some kind of indie rock to come out of his mouth, but dude started rapping like he was a gangsta, haha. It was funny.

    But …

  • Thanksgiving, etc

    I lead a boring life lately, it makes me sad. But soon I will step back into thy sweetness.
    Sweetness = money + Denver + Christmas + New Years + snowboarding - Boredom.

    Thanksgiving wasn't that cool... Kari and I went back to Marion to eat with her family. We always eat way way way too much there, I hurt for 2 days afterwards. Then we drove back to Des Moines to meet up with my family. We met my sister's new boyfriend, etc. Saturday we decorated the house for Christmas (lame) and had martinis with Nick and Nicole (cool). blah, blah, blah. Thanksgiving is never really cool.

    One thing that I recently got done but forgot to write about is the media storage shelf that I built with Rico. I found this one at Target for $3hundy so …

  • House Warming Party, ICP, and the Ring

    So this weekend was awesome. Rich, Ben, Kevi, Lindsey, and Steph all came up to stay with us. We had a house warming party Friday night, which was really fun. We had about 30 people show up and almost everyone brought beer, wine, or alcohol... so my refrigerator is insane. There was a lot of hanging out, playing cards, playing ping pong, soaping, heeling, smoking cigars, etc. Thanks to everyone that came out and for the gifts, Kari and I had a blast.

    Saturday, Ben, Rich, Kevi, and I went to ICP. What an awesome show. Esham did pretty much all old school stuff, it was a really tight, but short set... ABK also had a really good set, Mack 10 was awesome, and ICP did a great great show. All good stuff. Their set was pretty cool …

  • Another Friend!

    Man... add one, you gotta add em all.

    <clock> wtf derek i dont get to be in your friends list on your site
    <dracos> ooo shit
    <injekted> hahah
    * broox has been kicked from channel #corporate by clock (grrr)

    Haha, so yeah, I forget about danielle's blog sometimes. But now she's on here, w00t. Check out her site, her Halloween costume, and her kansas t-shirt.

  • Friends!

    I got 3 new friends links on my site now: Compton (aka comps), Cliff (aka dracos), and nicole (aka nick's girlfriend).

    I met comps when I job shadowed harper at Worldbook. ...Well actually, I just sat at his desk and used his PC while he was gone - so I haven't really met him at all. I know dracos through #corporate, he used to work with comps and harper. And I know Nicole through Nick. I'm not really friends with Nicole at all, I just want to look popular and see what she has to say about Nick. j/k.

    Anyway, check out their sites if you want. Nicole has some pretty cool art stuff, Cliff has a lot of kids, and Comps has a lot of guns.

  • How I started with Soap Shoes

    I guess I should start with the first time I started Soaping. I was at my buddy, Hugh Hermes' New Years Eve party my Jr year of High School. He had some Soaps and a practice rail so I decided to give it a shot. I fell really hard but loved the feeling of grinding.

    Anyway, about 2 years later in October of 1999 I wanted more soap stuff, mainly new grindplates. I didn't have a credit card at the time so I sent an email to Soap asking for a catalog. This way I could order some products by writing a check. They didn't get back to me for a few weeks so I sent them another email, and then another, and another. Then I gave up.

    In February, I got a call on my cell phone from the CEO of the company, Chris Morris. I was super geeked when he …

  • The Bees (or wasps, rather)

    When I was a kid we lived on 15 acres of land; 9 of which were wooded. We didn't have any neighbors so a typical day for me was to go explore, hunt, build forts, bike, etc.

    Our woods were split into 2 sections, 10% was in the front yard and 90% was in the back. Most of my time was spent in the larger, back woods. But one day when I was in fourth grade I decided to do some playing around in the front woods. So I got my "hunting knife," which was this old 6" skinning knife, mounted it onto my belt, and went out exploring. About 10 yards after entering the woods I started to hear a bunch of buzzing from behind me. It was a swarm of yellowjackets flying out of a hole in the ground that I'd obviously stepped on without noticing. They …

  • A Shot to the Head

    When I was 16 years old, my parents decided that it was time to build a new house. The only problem was, our house sold quicker than the new one got built. So we had to find a rental house for a month or so. Anyway, this rental house was on a farm so it had barns and everything.

    One day I decided I'd go out to the barn with my pellet gun and do some target practice with all the pigeons. I sat in the dark barn (it had no electricity) trying to shoot the birds on the ceiling. I must've been in there for an hour trying to pick off birds and didn't hit one. I was basically shooting blind - relying more on sound than sight. It sucked.

    Getting pretty mad and frustrated, I decided to go back to the house, probably to play nintendo or …

  • Pull over to the right next time!

    One day, during my senior year in high school or so, Jeff Wingert and I decided we'd take a drive into town in my Celica. I needed some gas so I stopped at the Amoco on Route 84 in Rapids City to fill up. After getting gas I pulled out to make my way to the interstate which is probably a mile away or so. I was just driving along and when I started to get into the left hand turning lane for the on-ramp, I see a cop with it's lights on behind me. There was also a random fat guy sitting in his passenger seat that I couldn't make out. So I sorta freaked out and stopped in the turning lane, he comes running up to my car and yells, "Do you realize that you pulled out right in front of me back there at that Amoco!?" Me, having no idea, …

  • Heely Demos, Apple, etc

    What a blah weekend. It had the potential to be cool, but turned out pretty weak. Friday I hung out all night, cleaned a bit, watched a movie, etc. Then Saturday I woke up and went to the Jordan Creek shopping center. It was the grand opening of the Apple store so I got a totally rad complementary Apple shirt... I heard that previous grand opening shirts were being sold for up to $200 on ebay when other apple stores opened - so I had to get one. When I opened it I found that it said "Jordan Creek" with an apple logo, which is not cool. I imagine one that said "Chicago" with an apple logo would be pretty dope, but who knows what Jordan Creek is? Oh well - we have an Apple store now.

    After visiting the Apple store, I had a …