I write, occasionally

Here's a collection of 648 pieces of nonsense that I've written over the past 23.51 years.

  • Sidekick II'd!

    So, finally I got my Sidekick II. Since I haven't told the story on my site, here it is, once more. omg.

    I ordered my sidekick on November 30 - which was supposedly the last day of the $250 in rebates sale at Amazon. I was super stoked, I even paid for 2-3 day shipping so I could get it faster. After it was shippped, UPS's website said, "Billing Information Received." Which means they never picked it up because Amazon lost it. After 3 days of this, I emailed Amazon and was like, "Yo wtf, where's my phone." And they were all, "You can track that at UPS." So I emailed back, "Yo, no I can't, where's my phone?" And then they were like, "That boy's an A-hole, we're not emailing him back!"

    So 10 days after I ordered it (Friday) I …

  • Cornell, Celebration, and Ninjas

    Ah, what a weekend. Kari and I went to Mount Vernon and Cedar rapids to have a 'going steady celebration' with our parents. Friday was open so I totally planned on breaking Cornell - because I love breaking Cornell. So, I called friends to meet me there - Kevi, and Jeff. Soon, I realized that both friends are really, incredibly lame. Jeff had to hang out with his gf and Kevi had to either sit at home or hang out with his gf, or both. Lamers. But anyway, I ate at Lincoln Cafe - so good (it was in Oprah Magazine once, haha), hung out with lots of girls, saw old friends at the bars, and walked around campus until 3AM or so. I was only mildly destructive without my friends there. Basically I just took pictures and looked pretty. I …

  • Help me, Help you

    I need your help. I need it bad. Please please, help me get a free iPod. I have 2 completed referrals, and need 3 more (unless Nick and Zach complete theirs, then I just need 1 more - so do it, punks). This really works, my buddy harper just got one.

    Once you sign up, then your friends can sign up under you and you'll be on your way to a free ipod as well. It's a fun game.

    Click this link, do what it says, and I will love you. Whatever offer you sign up for, you can always call and cancel. Help me, help you.

  • Thai Rap in the Sky With Tight Pants

    This weekend was pretty good. Friday, Nick and I went to Jazzy Willy's to watch Luke rap. The first dude that went on, Gai Den Gadema, was real real good. Then we saw Renaissance, a group from Iowa City. They brought these 2 white guys with them, one was their DJ and the other was some random guy. Apparently the white guys were trying to start a rap group so they got to perform 2 songs. When I saw the one guy come onto stage he was wearing small jeans, a red CCCP shirt with a stretched out neck, plastic glasses with wire frames around the lenses, and had long hair parted on the side. I totally expected some kind of indie rock to come out of his mouth, but dude started rapping like he was a gangsta, haha. It was funny.

    But …

  • Thanksgiving, etc

    I lead a boring life lately, it makes me sad. But soon I will step back into thy sweetness.
    Sweetness = money + Denver + Christmas + New Years + snowboarding - Boredom.

    Thanksgiving wasn't that cool... Kari and I went back to Marion to eat with her family. We always eat way way way too much there, I hurt for 2 days afterwards. Then we drove back to Des Moines to meet up with my family. We met my sister's new boyfriend, etc. Saturday we decorated the house for Christmas (lame) and had martinis with Nick and Nicole (cool). blah, blah, blah. Thanksgiving is never really cool.

    One thing that I recently got done but forgot to write about is the media storage shelf that I built with Rico. I found this one at Target for $3hundy so …

  • House Warming Party, ICP, and the Ring

    So this weekend was awesome. Rich, Ben, Kevi, Lindsey, and Steph all came up to stay with us. We had a house warming party Friday night, which was really fun. We had about 30 people show up and almost everyone brought beer, wine, or alcohol... so my refrigerator is insane. There was a lot of hanging out, playing cards, playing ping pong, soaping, heeling, smoking cigars, etc. Thanks to everyone that came out and for the gifts, Kari and I had a blast.

    Saturday, Ben, Rich, Kevi, and I went to ICP. What an awesome show. Esham did pretty much all old school stuff, it was a really tight, but short set... ABK also had a really good set, Mack 10 was awesome, and ICP did a great great show. All good stuff. Their set was pretty cool …

  • Another Friend!

    Man... add one, you gotta add em all.

    <clock> wtf derek i dont get to be in your friends list on your site
    <dracos> ooo shit
    <injekted> hahah
    * broox has been kicked from channel #corporate by clock (grrr)

    Haha, so yeah, I forget about danielle's blog sometimes. But now she's on here, w00t. Check out her site, her Halloween costume, and her kansas t-shirt.

  • Friends!

    I got 3 new friends links on my site now: Compton (aka comps), Cliff (aka dracos), and nicole (aka nick's girlfriend).

    I met comps when I job shadowed harper at Worldbook. ...Well actually, I just sat at his desk and used his PC while he was gone - so I haven't really met him at all. I know dracos through #corporate, he used to work with comps and harper. And I know Nicole through Nick. I'm not really friends with Nicole at all, I just want to look popular and see what she has to say about Nick. j/k.

    Anyway, check out their sites if you want. Nicole has some pretty cool art stuff, Cliff has a lot of kids, and Comps has a lot of guns.

  • How I started with Soap Shoes

    I guess I should start with the first time I started Soaping. I was at my buddy, Hugh Hermes' New Years Eve party my Jr year of High School. He had some Soaps and a practice rail so I decided to give it a shot. I fell really hard but loved the feeling of grinding.

    Anyway, about 2 years later in October of 1999 I wanted more soap stuff, mainly new grindplates. I didn't have a credit card at the time so I sent an email to Soap asking for a catalog. This way I could order some products by writing a check. They didn't get back to me for a few weeks so I sent them another email, and then another, and another. Then I gave up.

    In February, I got a call on my cell phone from the CEO of the company, Chris Morris. I was super geeked when he …

  • The Bees (or wasps, rather)

    When I was a kid we lived on 15 acres of land; 9 of which were wooded. We didn't have any neighbors so a typical day for me was to go explore, hunt, build forts, bike, etc.

    Our woods were split into 2 sections, 10% was in the front yard and 90% was in the back. Most of my time was spent in the larger, back woods. But one day when I was in fourth grade I decided to do some playing around in the front woods. So I got my "hunting knife," which was this old 6" skinning knife, mounted it onto my belt, and went out exploring. About 10 yards after entering the woods I started to hear a bunch of buzzing from behind me. It was a swarm of yellowjackets flying out of a hole in the ground that I'd obviously stepped on without noticing. They …

  • A Shot to the Head

    When I was 16 years old, my parents decided that it was time to build a new house. The only problem was, our house sold quicker than the new one got built. So we had to find a rental house for a month or so. Anyway, this rental house was on a farm so it had barns and everything.

    One day I decided I'd go out to the barn with my pellet gun and do some target practice with all the pigeons. I sat in the dark barn (it had no electricity) trying to shoot the birds on the ceiling. I must've been in there for an hour trying to pick off birds and didn't hit one. I was basically shooting blind - relying more on sound than sight. It sucked.

    Getting pretty mad and frustrated, I decided to go back to the house, probably to play nintendo or …

  • Pull over to the right next time!

    One day, during my senior year in high school or so, Jeff Wingert and I decided we'd take a drive into town in my Celica. I needed some gas so I stopped at the Amoco on Route 84 in Rapids City to fill up. After getting gas I pulled out to make my way to the interstate which is probably a mile away or so. I was just driving along and when I started to get into the left hand turning lane for the on-ramp, I see a cop with it's lights on behind me. There was also a random fat guy sitting in his passenger seat that I couldn't make out. So I sorta freaked out and stopped in the turning lane, he comes running up to my car and yells, "Do you realize that you pulled out right in front of me back there at that Amoco!?" Me, having no idea, …

  • Heely Demos, Apple, etc

    What a blah weekend. It had the potential to be cool, but turned out pretty weak. Friday I hung out all night, cleaned a bit, watched a movie, etc. Then Saturday I woke up and went to the Jordan Creek shopping center. It was the grand opening of the Apple store so I got a totally rad complementary Apple shirt... I heard that previous grand opening shirts were being sold for up to $200 on ebay when other apple stores opened - so I had to get one. When I opened it I found that it said "Jordan Creek" with an apple logo, which is not cool. I imagine one that said "Chicago" with an apple logo would be pretty dope, but who knows what Jordan Creek is? Oh well - we have an Apple store now.

    After visiting the Apple store, I had a …

  • New, New, New and Barely Different

    umm... New design! haha. I guess the site is different now. At first I was all like, "I should make a css site." So I made 3 designs or so and came up with this one. I didn't really like it that much so I made 2 more and said, "screw it" and came back to this one. Then after working on it for a while, I realized that I didn't have time to make a new site. Plus I realized that working with CSS is really lame and time consuming. So what you see here is a site that was supposed to be all CSS, but it's actually half tables. And the entire site is not really done. wtf, haha.

    However, the general site is much more lean so it should be faster. And I have changed a few things around in an attempt to make it nicer. Some new stuff:

  • I Love Election Time

    omg, today is so annoying and it's only 9 AM. Why didn't I think to call in sick? I really don't feel well anyway...

    Seriously, election time is like the PMS of the country. Every 4 years, everyone turns into a testy, "i'm right, you're wrong," arguing b*tch. Most of the arguments aren't even relavent or legit. It's out of control. Luckily I got 1 electoral vote. Soon people are going to call me names and argue about me, that will be fun.

    On another note, I'm about to become a furniture building maniac. I've got a media storage shelf planned out, along with a desk and book shelves. I'm super stoked!

  • Halloween 2004

    So halloween was pretty laid back this year. Kari's parents came up to visit, which was fun. Her dad made us good dinner and brought good wine. They also brought the dog which slaughtered a rabbit in my back yard. I still have to clean that up. I carved a Violent J pumpkin, which took a while. But it turned out decent I guess.

    We had over 100 kids and went through 6 bags of candy with a half hour left in the night... So we had to shut our lights off. The kids were pretty funny. Some try to get away with the lamest costumes. Like this one kid came up with a skateboard and normal skater attire. He said he was a pro skateboarder - so I made him do tricks before he got candy. This area is also weird because people make the kids …

  • Homeownership is Weird

    I just wrote this big long article about how owning a house is weird and when I hit submit my session timed out and I lost the article. I really hate web sites.

    Anyway... I've lived in my house for about 3 weeks now. So far it's been really cool. I'm sorta poor, but I feel so rich, haha. It rules.

    It's weird because it seems like everything you do for a house both sucks and is really rewarding at the same time. Like building a work bench, setting up wireless internet, setting up an entertainment center, even cleaning the garage. Planning for new stuff is the same way. It all sorta sucks because it costs time and money, but it's so awesome once you get done. One thing that sucks all the time though, is Ankeny Sanitation. …

  • Scarlet Wins

    So this weekend was my cousin, Scarlet's wedding. She's the first of our generation to get married in the family.

    So Friday, Kari and I drove to my parents house to hang out and stay the night. It's nice to get back home sometimes. Then, saturday my grandparents took Kari and I out to eat for her birthday. We went to Belgium Village where we ate reubens bigger than our plates, it was crazy. After lunch, we checked into the hotel. I mostly hung out with my little cousins... Soaping, running around, and being goofy. Lots of fun was had.

    So the wedding was in this pretty cool church. It was kinda weird to see Scarlet get married. I've never even met the guy she's marrying, haha. But it was nice to see everyone. I got to see …