Here's a collection of 650 pieces of nonsense that I've written over the past 23.66 years.
I guess I should start with the first time I started Soaping. I was at my buddy, Hugh Hermes' New Years Eve party my Jr year of High School. He had some Soaps and a practice rail so I decided to give it a shot. I fell really hard but loved the feeling of grinding.
Anyway, about 2 years later in October of 1999 I wanted more soap stuff, mainly new grindplates. I didn't have a credit card at the time so I sent an email to Soap asking for a catalog. This way I could order some products by writing a check. They didn't get back to me for a few weeks so I sent them another email, and then another, and another. Then I gave up.
In February, I got a call on my cell phone from the CEO of the company, Chris Morris. I was super geeked when he …
When I was a kid we lived on 15 acres of land; 9 of which were wooded. We didn't have any neighbors so a typical day for me was to go explore, hunt, build forts, bike, etc.
Our woods were split into 2 sections, 10% was in the front yard and 90% was in the back. Most of my time was spent in the larger, back woods. But one day when I was in fourth grade I decided to do some playing around in the front woods. So I got my "hunting knife," which was this old 6" skinning knife, mounted it onto my belt, and went out exploring. About 10 yards after entering the woods I started to hear a bunch of buzzing from behind me. It was a swarm of yellowjackets flying out of a hole in the ground that I'd obviously stepped on without noticing. They …
When I was 16 years old, my parents decided that it was time to build a new house. The only problem was, our house sold quicker than the new one got built. So we had to find a rental house for a month or so. Anyway, this rental house was on a farm so it had barns and everything.
One day I decided I'd go out to the barn with my pellet gun and do some target practice with all the pigeons. I sat in the dark barn (it had no electricity) trying to shoot the birds on the ceiling. I must've been in there for an hour trying to pick off birds and didn't hit one. I was basically shooting blind - relying more on sound than sight. It sucked.
Getting pretty mad and frustrated, I decided to go back to the house, probably to play nintendo or …
One day, during my senior year in high school or so, Jeff Wingert and I decided we'd take a drive into town in my Celica. I needed some gas so I stopped at the Amoco on Route 84 in Rapids City to fill up. After getting gas I pulled out to make my way to the interstate which is probably a mile away or so. I was just driving along and when I started to get into the left hand turning lane for the on-ramp, I see a cop with it's lights on behind me. There was also a random fat guy sitting in his passenger seat that I couldn't make out. So I sorta freaked out and stopped in the turning lane, he comes running up to my car and yells, "Do you realize that you pulled out right in front of me back there at that Amoco!?" Me, having no idea, …
omg, today is so annoying and it's only 9 AM. Why didn't I think to call in sick? I really don't feel well anyway...
Seriously, election time is like the PMS of the country. Every 4 years, everyone turns into a testy, "i'm right, you're wrong," arguing b*tch. Most of the arguments aren't even relavent or legit. It's out of control. Luckily I got 1 electoral vote. Soon people are going to call me names and argue about me, that will be fun.
On another note, I'm about to become a furniture building maniac. I've got a media storage shelf planned out, along with a desk and book shelves. I'm super stoked!
So halloween was pretty laid back this year. Kari's parents came up to visit, which was fun. Her dad made us good dinner and brought good wine. They also brought the dog which slaughtered a rabbit in my back yard. I still have to clean that up. I carved a Violent J pumpkin, which took a while. But it turned out decent I guess.
We had over 100 kids and went through 6 bags of candy with a half hour left in the night... So we had to shut our lights off. The kids were pretty funny. Some try to get away with the lamest costumes. Like this one kid came up with a skateboard and normal skater attire. He said he was a pro skateboarder - so I made him do tricks before he got candy. This area is also weird because people make the kids …