I write, occasionally

Here's a collection of 652 pieces of nonsense that I've written over the past 24.56 years.

  • funny

    * mrkraus has joined #pioneer
    <mrkraus> whoa
    <mrkraus> weird
    * mrkraus has quit IRC (Client Quit)

    It's little things like this that are really really funny to me, and I don't know why.

  • Being young and making cash rules

    The guy that led my orientation at work just asked my buddy and I, "How much more time do you guys have?" We were like, "Um, what?" He said, "this summer." So we got really confused. and then he's like, "When does school start back up?" "Ummm, we're full time, sir"

  • Why my job rules

    My boss just wheeled this giant box on wheels over to my cube. It was about waist high, 5 feet long and 3 feet wide with no top on it. Anyway, he told me to get in. I was like, "umm, you just want me to get in the box?" He's like, "yeah, it's ok, get in." So I got in, and he put this purple fuzzy pimp hat on me and pushed me all around the floor really fast.

  • Martial Arts: A good story

    A couple month's ago, my friends and I decided that it would be a good idea for Jordan to kick me in the stomach as hard as he could. It didn't seem like a bad idea because my stomach is so incredibly buff and Jordan was in martial arts which means he has good aim. So here's the video... it hurt, but everything went to plan.

    Anyway, my buddy, Zach was here last weekend and was wearing my tae kwon do uniform. Since he was wearing it we decided that it was a good time for someone to kick me in the stomach again. Now, Zach hasn't had any martial arts training so I was a little nervous about his aim. Mainly, I didn't want to get kicked in the ribs and I surely didn't want to get kicked in the junk. I told him that he had to practice …

  • Kids' Camp Xtreme

    My aunt's church is having a camp called "kids' camp xtreme" and they asked me to make a video for them. They just wanted something short that they could play everyday to get the kids pumped up.

    They told me to just throw a bunch of "extreme stuff" together, which is exactly what I did. It's not awesome, but if you want to see it, click here. (2:07, wmv format)

    You'll see a few of my closest buddies and I goofin around, skating, soaping, etc. All of the clips were shot by myself (unless I'm in the clip) and I put it together in about 4 hours.

  • Kids, driving fast is not cool

    Derek R Brooks: i should have gotten pulled over to the MAX this morning
    Derek R Brooks: i will just paste the conversation that i had with jammey
    Derek R Brooks: so i dont have to type it again
    sofa king kari: k
    Derek R Brooks: well, to get to work i have to jump onto the interstate for like 5 minutes... and it's all 3 lane with big wall dividers between eastbound and westbound... so the only way you're gonna get pulled over is if there is a cop right in front of you or right behind you
    Derek R Brooks: well this morning, i didn't have my radar detector on and i flew onto the interstate like i normally do... doing about 90
    Derek R Brooks: about halfway to work i switched lanes from the far left lane to the far right lane to get around a …

  • Music: From Jazz to Underground Psycho Rap

    I've been hearing some pretty good music lately and I thought I'd tell you about it. Normally I don't do this, but you won't hear any of it otherwise because it's all way underground.

    First off, I went to a place called Java Joes on Saturday night. They had 2 bands playing, Kite Strings and Cleo's Apartment, which were both very good. Kite Strings was a mix between Acid Jazz, Hip Hop, and techno. They had a violin, turntables, drum machine, keyboard, and every once in a while a guy rapping. Cleo's Apartment combined Keyboards, synthesizers, turntables, and even horns. They're both pretty mellow but really good. Search for them on mp3.com or check out softfocus.com. The site isn't up yet, but when I talked to them they said it'd …

  • iPod

    I bought the newest verion of the 10 gig iPod (v3) off of ebay the other day, and absolutely love it. I actually wanted the 30 gig, but couldn't see spending $500 on it. But seriously, this thing is so insanely dope. It looks so nice, it's so thin, all the buttons are touchpads, and the formatting/navigation is just so clean. Sometimes I really think that apple rules because they put a ton of thought into every aspect of their products, especially design. The box it came in was even cool.

    The 10 gig still holds a lot of music, I've already got over 20 CDs on here and I haven't even used 2 gigs yet

    If you ever want an mp3 player, I would suggest getting one of these. You can get a 20 gig from a different brand for the same …

  • New Pictures

    I finally added a few new pictures to this site. So click the pictures link above and you will see pics of:
  • Juliet and I - I've known this girl since I was like 2
  • Katie and I - one of my best girl friends
  • Becca, Shawn, and I (and my brett favre jersey, which is a Large in BOYS)
  • Kevin and I at graduation
  • Kevin, Mark, and I. Notice my 70s style joggin suit, mark's killer tuxedo, and kevin... well, kevin's got his camera.

  • My Car

    I love my car. In fact, I love my car so much that even though it almost has 130,000 miles on it, I've decided that I'm going to restore it rather than buy a new car. The only problem is, stupid things keep happening to it! For instance, last fall (shortly after I got my new body kit on) I went and bought a new cell phone (you probably saw the article about it on this site). Anyway, I was so caught up in my cell phone that when I went back out to my car I was only paying attention to the phone. I backed up, and "CRACK!" I backed right into a truck. It wasn't that hard but it was definitly hard enough to put a 6 inch crack in my bumper cover. It was completely my fault, but the truck was not there when I pulled in, so in a matter …

  • So far so good...

    So I've been living in Des Moines for a little over a week and it's going pretty well... except for my lack of friends out here. Everyone I know is trying to be all professional n stuff. Don't get me wrong, I think it's important to be professional at work, but the only people I know are at work... while they're at work.

    On another subject, I actually live in West Des Moines and my apartment could be easily described as a pimp-pad. My Job is in Johnston, which is about 10 minutes away from the apartment... so that's cool too. The company I work for has a "campus" and the building I work in is about as big as Cornell. Funny.

    I'll have pictures of my Apartment, job, and cubicle soon. My whole floor should be moving around soon …

  • Des Moines

    I got a really good job right outside of Des Moines in the city of Johnston. I start June 1, so I'll be outta here at the end of May. I'm gonna miss my friends a lot, but it's a great opportunity for me, so I'm taking it.

    Update: I went to get an apartment yesterday. I found a pretty dope one in West Des Moines, right next to Clive. If anyone lives near there, I need someone to skate/soap with.

  • Graduation

    I'm graduating in about a month. I just made this graduation announcement that I thought I would post on my website. I don't really expect you all to come to either of my events, but I thought you might find the announcement humorous or would just like to know what's going on in my life. Check out my announcement here!

  • Spring Break

    So spring break started yesterday and I'm flying to Phoenix this afternoon. I plan on getting tons of pictures and will be promoting Soap to the max. (for those of you that don't know, I'm sponsored by soap shoes again). If you need to get a hold of me you can call me on my cell phone or text message me here.

  • Photography

    I joined a photography class this block at Cornell and I'm really looking forward to it. I really need more photo experience for work.broox.com, plus I think photography is one of the best forms of art there is. Anyway, we needed an SLR (Single Reflex Lens) camera, so I spent about 4 hours comparing cameras in my price range. I narrowed it down right away to the Canon Rebel 2000 and the Minolta Maxxum 5. I went to Best Buy and talked to 3 of the High School kids that know nothing about any product in the store except for the new 50 Cent CD. Then I got the privelage to talk to someone who might know what he's talking about. I asked him how fast the lens was on the camera (Aperture Range), and he just looked at me and then told me …

  • My sister rules

    A few months ago my sister entered the Miss Teen Illinois contest with 2000 other girls. Well, that 2000 was narrowed down to 175 which went to the actual pageant in Chicago. We went and watched, and probably had the loudest cheering section in the whole place (between about 6 of her friends, and my family). Everyone was really nervous but my sister made it to the top 15... and then the top 5. Then she ended up taking 2nd runner up (3rd place) out of the original 2,000 that entered the contest.

    If you would like to see a picture of the top 5, go to www.missillinoisusa.com/contestants-miss_teen.html. My sister is the girl in the white dress (Bre'anna Brooks)