Microblog

I wish I could ollie my car. At full speed.

This new Kendrick album is kind of what I expected the new Kanye album to be like. P.S. It's good.

Alexa, I'll take 2 echo dots, plz

All good beer bars need to auto-serve karafes of water like @bangersandlace.

Beer: who wants to have one?

There are thousands and thousands of black birds flying past and hanging out in trees in my back yard.

So... I just accidentally called my hairstylist a ho. t.co/7N59smj2kD

Starting to think that there's not really going to be an end to me hanging out in out new attic.

Whenever my Fitbit is charging, I contemplate whether it's worth it to do things like go grab a soda, or use the restroom.

I am excited about leap day

Is TV happening?

It's always fun ending the Broomball season with overtime and a shootout.

Why does karaoke exist

Game 1: 78. Game 2: 158. Pretty sure I'd bowl a 300 if we were staying for 1 more.

I think we've reached bowlmer peak at Nick's birthday bowling party.

Today, the Internet told me that I could use nylon string to cut through PVC pipes in tight places... The Internet is full of shit.

#DEWSK t.co/3jNX3zVXwA

MOAR BACITRACIN

Well that was hands down the most painful tattoo I've ever gotten.

Today I had my first performance review since 2007 and got a pay raise. It was cool.