Microblog

• Were any of y'all smart enough to sell off a bunch of stock in January/February? I sure as shit wasn't. 😭 posted 1 week ago - 5 comments

• iOS is nice because there are never any bugs. t.co/YmecN8coG0 posted 2 weeks ago - 2 comments

• gosh, good internet connections are nice. posted 2 weeks ago - reply

• Is it insensitive to say that you have cabin fever rn? posted 2 weeks ago - 1 comment

• Swarm/Foursquare is now giving 0 points for check-ins and telling you to stay home, lol. Well played. posted 2 weeks ago - reply

• @realDonaldTrump Shut the fuck up posted 2 weeks ago - reply

• Someone carved the words “cool whip” into a birch tree on this property and I can’t stop thinking about why anyone would’ve done that. posted 2 weeks ago - 5 comments

• Thinking about sending an email to everyone in my address book about how I’m personally dealing with COVID-19. 🤔 posted 2 weeks ago - 3 comments

• Just ordered a bidet cause y’all are crazy people. posted 2 weeks ago - reply

• Have y’all really never stayed home for 3 straight days before? posted 2 weeks ago - 5 comments

• Aw shoot I blew it posted 2 weeks ago - 1 comment

• Consider not talking about COVID19 for a minute. posted 2 weeks ago - reply

• A few days ago my sister told me that you can sing COVID-19 to the tune of Come on Eileen...and that has been on re… t.co/6AgRNaWyD2 posted 3 weeks ago - reply

• I’m pretty sure the only way that I’ll be able to keep my grubby hands off my face is to wear a morphsuit full time… t.co/fQtvwewl2L posted 3 weeks ago - reply

• I hope Siri reminds me about this important tax document in time. t.co/Gxy1V6LHoG posted 3 weeks ago - reply

• @xianrenaud Butt lookin good, my man! posted 3 weeks ago - 1 comment

• I’ve been working on Venmo stuff for 2 years now. 😯 posted 3 weeks ago - 3 comments

• Me: imma run into this small town bar and play the best music. Small town bar: 355 songs in queue posted 3 weeks ago - reply

• My mom just accidentally sent me a dick pic posted 4 weeks ago - 4 comments

• UGH. MEETINGS. amirite? posted 1 month ago - reply