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That moment your iOS engineer asks you for help with his homework.

This is a pretty nice Christmas card. vine.co/v/hQlUrbFHuIH

Just got some awesome/terrible news: my tattoo artist can get me in to finish up my rib cage/stomach/lower back piece next week.

Man, I need some of that twerk scholarship fund money. I wanna contribute.

I want the super power that gives me the ability to consume all the fancy foods and drinks I want without ever getting full, drunk, or fat.

Still trying to thaw out. Smashing on some of that amazing ramen at Akebono.

1°. Feels like -19°. Walked 3/4 mile, then waited for a 30 minute late bus... A situation I wouldn't be in if @ridedart exposed bus trackers

I love shoveling snow on pretty nights like these.

Things I want so bad: a new house, brunch.

Cleanin up after a great party with great friends. I love nights like tonight.

Antiques flickr.com/shor...load=aHsjNBRN9a

That awkward moment you find blood all over your hands and have no idea where it came from...

One of these days, I'd love to go to Germany and bring home a BMW on European delivery. I really hope this happens.

fingerskatebros liked your video Tech Deck Dorks

Apparently when Kari asked me to clean the basement for our upcoming party, she didn't mean, "get out power tools and mod the bar" ... oops.

Alba happy hour. Gettin Kari some vodka.

"I need a drink. Like straight vodka," my wife says as I enter the IV room after having an intimate side conversation with her doctors.

My favorite part about hospitals is how respectful they are of your time... (I feel like I've tweeted this before)

Fuck doctors.

My wife has a crazy job.