Microblog

Playing head to head for a prairie fire with @darealcraigo.

Nick just pussed out on 7-14-21! Refusing to take his winning shot.

7-14-21

Jenga is the most stressful game ever.

My buddies just nicknamed my hair "the lobster tail"

Headin out for that @lucky33's birthday.

So, @SimpleGeo really is incredibly simple... good company name, guys.

You're lucky I have a ghetto ass, rooted android... If I had a stable phone, y'all would've had a dozen tweets related to this fine evening.

Tweeting via SMS for the first time in years.

Giant dudes with elf boots are the most hilarious thing ever.

Welp. Bottle service it is!

Blue waffles!

Suppose I should shower and get this weekend started! What's going on tonight, queefs?

Just got an email from please-reply@... rather than no-reply@... what a simple, solid idea. //cc: @simplegeo

So I lost 15lbs pretty easily by practicing portion control... I think losing any more will require exercise. #screwit

Just got owned by a kidrobot sale. I love kid robot... and I need to stop impulse clothes shopping online.

Sometimes, even shitty beds feel too comfortable to get out of in the morning.

All sorts of sirens outside the office... spose I better wrap up and go check it out.

Whoa. I had no idea it was spring outside.

I am listening to bon jovi. It is awful.