Microblog

open Venmo, scan this code, send money, be happy. t.co/0o6FMtJ9U8

My APR tuned VW GTI just rolled over 50,000 miles. She doesn't get the love she deserves anymore... putting her up for sale tomorrow. 😢

These are really good autocomplete suggestions. 🤔🤔🤔 t.co/Bro0tvHNrS

Has Game of Thrones on HBO Now looked like shit for anyone else this season? I'd like to blame Mediacom, but my connection seems solid.

I think I traded in my jetlag for partylag

I'm looking for sublimation tighty whities. Plz help. It's my birthday.

Tonight at 8pm we're having a pizza party for my birthday. Plz come!

I think I would be a much happier person if I traded my house in for a Ferrari. 🤔

😴💤💀

Just scheduled a doctor appt and the receptionist asked if my address was still Mount Vernon, IA. Apparently my last Dr appt was in college.

feelin laggy 😴😴😴

Ahhhh. dewski, taco pizza, craft beer, own bed, own shower, and @kbroox... It's good to be home.

Back in the U.S. t.co/cDu2oAURRx

Iowa, I'm comin home.

Look at this Japanese gang graffiti t.co/08x30d6IJW

English is hard when you compose tweets with ADD

That was a super rad Monday. I hope all my peoples back home are going to enjoy it as well.

PSA: My birthday is in a week. Plz party with me next weekend.

Does Toto make any washlets with a bleaching feature?

After a very short stay in Thailand, I can vouge for them being awesome at: food, massages, tuk tuks and bring crazy. Tomorrow: Tokyo.