Microblog

California is a very big suburb

Diet Mountain Dew is very good. Because it has orange juice in it.

San Brosay, I'm comin.

There are a lot of Obama shirts at O'Hare today.

That was a great line party

Headin to Chicago for Obama's farewell speech and a little after party with all the folks that helped him win the presidency.

Ever feel like you've built up enough body fat that you could comfortably survive for weeks without eating? but then just keep eating?

Why are people who don't pay for cable TV called cord cutters? Most of us actually use the exact same cords in order to get internet.

She put the lime in the coconut

If you're ever running low on beer, host a poker party. Everyone will bring at least 1.5 times more than they will drink.

Not leaving this house until it is above 0°F

Preparing for your first cleaning service to arrive is a real moment where you recognize how big of a slob you actually are.

Tempur-pedic bed + black out shades = recipe for never waking up again

I really need to stop filleting my fingertips off

I wanna play some poker. Anyone wanna play some poker sometime soon? I'll host!

Kari and I are starting this year out by wearing onesies and watching Flight of the Navigator

Just bought BonersAndCars.com. My first purchase of 2017.

2016 was a super, super weird year. I really hope that 2017 will be super weird too. but in a much different way.

What an inspiring leader this man is. twitter.com/rea...185071317676033

Just wired up the first couple Ethernet jacks in my house. Feels good, man.