Microblog

Why are people who don't pay for cable TV called cord cutters? Most of us actually use the exact same cords in order to get internet.

She put the lime in the coconut

If you're ever running low on beer, host a poker party. Everyone will bring at least 1.5 times more than they will drink.

Not leaving this house until it is above 0°F

Preparing for your first cleaning service to arrive is a real moment where you recognize how big of a slob you actually are.

Tempur-pedic bed + black out shades = recipe for never waking up again

I really need to stop filleting my fingertips off

I wanna play some poker. Anyone wanna play some poker sometime soon? I'll host!

Kari and I are starting this year out by wearing onesies and watching Flight of the Navigator

Just bought BonersAndCars.com. My first purchase of 2017.

2016 was a super, super weird year. I really hope that 2017 will be super weird too. but in a much different way.

What an inspiring leader this man is. twitter.com/rea...185071317676033

Just wired up the first couple Ethernet jacks in my house. Feels good, man.

Do I have any friends in Des Moines that like University of Iowa football?

spend that check and get it right back

Kari and I, fed up with eating like assholes this holiday season decided to be healthy for a bit... and then ate 20" of pizza after 2.5 days

I love football player fashion. Especially those lil baby bicep sweatbands.

A salesman just came to my house and asked if my dad was home

A child at this Christmas gift exchange just opened a toy candy dispenser that was literally full of rocks, lol. Thanks, China.

That feeling when you walk into a massage and realize that your zipper is all the way undone...