Microblog

It'd be nice if Twitter let you mute retweets from friends.

i accidentally left my old iphone plugged in and turned on right in front of my nest cam. every notification is triggering a motion alert.

I am eating ramen with cheese in it and I'm not quite sure how a feel about that... I think good.

Me: is your hair maroon???
Kari: it's purple... and it's been like that for 4 months.
Me: 😶

I need a rasp

This mother fucker has gone TOO FAR t.co/k7Go1tnPxS

Tonight, a buddy told me that 3 keys to being successful are: graduate, have a job, and don't have a baby outside of wedlock.

the solution to pollution is dilution

I am really good at snapchat.

Just heard the words "vegan straight edge friendsgiving." Get me out of Chicago.

iPhone to Pixel first Impressions: Notifications and rear fingerprint: more intuitive. Android/Google assistant: way smarter than iOS/siri.

i FINALLY made it onto one of those stupid ass buzzfeed lists! buzzfeed.com/da...ly-truly-insane

Chicken al pastor. 😮😮😮

I have been trapped in a dewski wasteland all day.

Backordered phone gets delivered to my house right after I leave town for a week. Dammit!

Just caught myself singin out loud with headphones on. #thatdude.

Watching people's reactions to airport news stations reporting on Donald Trump really is a beautiful thing. Terrible poker faces.

The best part about delayed flights is really just racking up more @yourKarma data.

Chicago friends! I'm coming to hang out for a week. Let's kick it?

Just finished our first broomball game of the season... and I am exactly as out of shape as I thought I was.