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How

It's not too early to crack open a bottle of bourbon is it?

Just ate half a little box of raisins. It started tasting weird, but nostalgic. It ended with me saying, "gross" and throwing the rest away.

You guys. Tomorrow is the last day of this God forsaken election! All that's left to do now is vote! Plz go vote! (for Hillary)

4 years ago... Completely exhausted after finishing up a life changing job. Still proud. t.co/TSfyH7c5Bi

Of course I need a super randomly sized torx wrench just to change out the chrome grilles on my car. Goddamn Germans.

I am the wire fishing world champion. 🏆🙌🍾📺

Just hung a TV in our living room 😕

Just shattered the screen on my iPhone 6S... should I repair it, get a pixel, or get the 7?

My entire house smells like a terrible slice of old reheated spicy sausage pizza... I wonder what happened here tonight... Geez... Ew.

Cedar Rapids, I'm comin

That moment you realize that a local bar is still holding your drivers license as collateral for a Moscow mule that you ordered last week.

Kari and I bought a TV when the Cubs got into the World Series... and now I'm debating whether or not we should return it.

Can we retire the "go cubs go" song now?

Holy shit, man. That was an amazing game. That was an amazing series. We just saw the Cubs win it all. My God.

Dead. I died.

Come on, Hardees. End this game.

If the Cubs were ever gonna go to the World Series again, this is the way it was going to be. Game 7, tied after 9 innings, rain delay.

Whiskey time

Cubs in Game 7 of the World Series. 6-6 in the 8th inning. Probably gonna die.