Microblog

I need a new pocket knife. What should I get? Has to be small. No bells. No whistles.

Spread ignorance

It's been rad being back in Chicago for the past week or so, but I'm super stoked to get back to that @kbroox and my lil baby smurf car.

I need to figure out a way to transplant some of these Chicago bars and restaurants to Des Moines.

A random girl just asked me if the B on my shirt stands for Cupcake Boy t.co/JaYEU8GEPX

Pretty sure that I just ate the best burger that man has ever made

This is one of my proudest TV moments. t.co/NbJVA29qwm

If you're watching the Cubs/Cardinals game today, look for the only dude in the outfield wearing yellow. Bleachers. Left center. No knife.

Wrigley Field just took away my little baby pocket knife and then tried to shame me for even carrying a pocket knife. Rad.

Drinkin on a Chicago rooftop with Todd Makinster

This hotel I'm in smells like a new car

2 years later, my wife gets the new iPhone 7 and it's asking her to sign in with [email protected] again. wtf. t.co/X8vCY0MBIU

The other night my friend Conor asked to take his first selfie, "Hey man! You wanna take a facial!? or a facie? What do they call that?"

Saw Rob Zombie perform the Astrocreep album straight through tonight... and then I saw the original Misfits. So rad. So so rad.

From brunch to Andrew WK to Chevy Metal (featuring Juliette Lewis and Dee Snider). Not a terrible way to kick this afternoon off.

"I don't want Dunkin Donuts! That's so stupid!" - Kari's first fit of the day

"Til the sweat drip down my balls!" - all the ~35 year old girls scream on the wedding reception dance floor.

OT Genesis - Cut It as the cake cutting song at this wedding, lol

I am really not a fan of dressing up.

Yo Chicago! I'm here for the next week. Let's kick it