Microblog

Car differential: replaced. Flight: rescheduled. Can't wait to see my sweet baby smurf again next week.

The game of telephone does not work in construction.

A million thanks to all the folks who helped me celebrate my birthday this weekend. My old ass is paying for it, now!

Today is one of those days that I kinda wish we had a TV

Ow

Party. My house. Now.

"Dude!!! I need help!!!", my buddy, Jeff screams as he frantically pushes buttons and holds out his hands full of tokens at the arcade.

I just walked into a Walgreens, grabbed a soda, and almost walked right back out the door without paying because I am an airhead.

Slammin a dewsk in the shower. #VoteBroox t.co/O1TgX0AvSb

Guys. I have great news. I am now officially old enough to run for president. #VoteBroox

that part

When none of your evening projects go as planned, it's probably a good idea to just crack open some beers and clean your garage.

When your tax advisor says you owe half of what you set aside. 🙌💵🍾

They hate us cause they anus

Crocs are not the best shoes to wear in the wood shop. Comfort and fashion ruined by sawdust.

Kari is sitting on the couch, filing her finger nails and watching soap operas. wtf

"Sorry, it looks like we're not in your area yet. In the meantime, why don't you browse our current cities?" - @Postmates calls my city lame

8th coat of poly on the countertop. A coat of paint on the bathroom walls. Switches and plates installed... We're about ready for a party!

I would like to make my Amazon echo talk like and respond to: Eeyore. Plz help.

Found Yellowjacket hole #2 in my yard. Dudes were pissed about me weed wackin their hole.