Microblog

I'm subbing for someone in a hammerschlagen league tonight.

I did Autocross for the first time today. I was not the fastest person, but it was still a blast. youtu.be/vRX1TN6ghTE

pros vs kids

What do you think C.J. Beathard's real name is?

I used to be listed as a notable alumni on Cornell College's wikipedia page. t.co/lo5580Y4uE

Iowa vs Iowa

Bitch, I'm back out my coma.

Just plugged some headphones into my phone while it charges... like a coward.

There's a really good chance that I will blow the crotch out of these jeans today.

To wake up, put Kanye West - Hold My Liquor on. Turn it to 11.

Is there anything good on the internet?

I think that Apple event was probably the worst I've seen... I'm usually excited about at least a few of their announcements. Today: nothin.

Apple Watch series 2: not thinner, probably worse battery life. Still the best Apple Watch Apple has ever made.

It's hard to take a selfie of yourself wearing a onesie.

Tried to stay in bed this morning so I could get all the things that went wrong in my dreams fixed.

I am only interested in listening to songs featuring steelpans today.

I really wanna see some kind of battle against all the dads whose shirts claim they're #1.

We can get way fatter than this.

Who's watchin this Iowa game today? And more importantly, who wants Kari and I to come hang?

Got the heated floors and the air conditioning on at the same damn time.