Microblog

What are people doing when they hold their iPhones in front of their face and talk to them like walkie talkies?

Came to the office to escape home construction and construction is happening at my office. *waht wah*

Deep house music makes everything more productive. Including hanging pocket doors and trim.

COE SUX

I just saw a beat up old police interceptor for sale with a big "one owner!" sticker in the windshield.

Snackin on some leftover pizza while I wait for the pizza delivery man to bring us a pizza. 🍕💪💀

HOME: the land of no kids. T-1 hour until I jump in the pool.

What does it mean when a girl calls a baby a little peanut?

Got up early and vacuumed out my GTI for the first time since we started this house remodel 7+ months ago... Felt good, man.

I Just put some shorts on. Both legs at the same time. On the first try. 🖕🖕

Curtains are for old people... Old people have curtains.

I am becoming Mr DGAF.

Got my German traffic cam speeding ticket in the mail. I look pretty badass. t.co/7wxtWtamvW

So I'm sitting here at work and Kari calls me from the pool, panicked about a baby bird being stuck inside her car... Summer breaks are hard

I kinda want to start a photoblog of children being assholes in public

Dinosaurs will die

God bless America

Sorry about the hip hop and Sonos sub, neighborhood.

Picking up an M-series in Germany bit.ly/29cjYlR

I've been woken up by an alarm every day this week... This is not a great way to live.