Microblog

Slammin a dewsk in the shower. #VoteBroox t.co/O1TgX0AvSb

Guys. I have great news. I am now officially old enough to run for president. #VoteBroox

that part

When none of your evening projects go as planned, it's probably a good idea to just crack open some beers and clean your garage.

When your tax advisor says you owe half of what you set aside. 🙌💵🍾

They hate us cause they anus

Crocs are not the best shoes to wear in the wood shop. Comfort and fashion ruined by sawdust.

Kari is sitting on the couch, filing her finger nails and watching soap operas. wtf

"Sorry, it looks like we're not in your area yet. In the meantime, why don't you browse our current cities?" - @Postmates calls my city lame

8th coat of poly on the countertop. A coat of paint on the bathroom walls. Switches and plates installed... We're about ready for a party!

I would like to make my Amazon echo talk like and respond to: Eeyore. Plz help.

Found Yellowjacket hole #2 in my yard. Dudes were pissed about me weed wackin their hole.

Just woke up and realized that Donald Trump is actually nominated to become the president of the United States. lololol. Holy shit.

Kari just told me that she wants to be a personal secretary, but in the 50s.

Wine is great!

T minus no time until we get to park in our new garage. But first: Italian fest!

I never narc'd on nobody

Whenever I listen to Gucci Mane songs I replace the word Gucci with Brooksy.

Just installed the fanciest thermostat I could find for my heated floor and it has T9 input. Happy to find that I can still T9 like the wind

Hillary Clinton’s husband wore a fetching pantsuit to honor her nomination for US president qz.com/743526 via @qz