Microblog

Just ordered a McLobster Roll...

MORE LOBSTER

Saying "murica" is cool and funny.

The lobster bake we had today was absolutely obscene... 40 lobsters. Photos soon. Happy 4th y'all!

ALL LOBSTER EVERYTHING

"Why do I live in Iowa?" - my brain, while looking out the window, flying into Maine. This is a beautiful place.

Just got asked to not practice exercising my exit row emergency procedures. 😁

The Newark airport is a not a very clean place.

Pounded a dewsk before 5am. I'm the most extreme dude in the airport.

"I need a slice of pizza" "Do you think they have any pizza?" "Is there any pizza in there?" -@kbroox this morning... before 5am.

T minus not very long and I will be en route to a lakeside cottage in Maine.

SECURITY t.co/kCvaoFBs3j

"Special Characters are not allowed in the Password." - my credit card 😭

My momma taught me how to eat a bone-in pork chop flic.kr/p/vvufUT

Wait, you don't have to hold down snaps anymore???

My aunt just had her son rush a new pair of Mt Dew board shorts over to my house before I go on vacation tomorrow... #blessed

I just learned that there's such a thing as a lawn fertilizer nerd. I just met one at Home Depot... bout to have the best lawn on the block!

Wait... Apple's Beats 1 radio is censored? lol

I've got the itch for 100 more tattoos... and a tattoo artist who is not booked into mid 2016. 😭

GOL DANG SKEETERS