Microblog

There's a concerning number of Trump signs in rural Minnesota.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii want dew-ski.
👏 👏👏 👏👏 👏👏 👏

A blonde woman walking in my neighborhood tonight repeatedly asked me if my car went 200... and I honestly have no idea if I was in a mid-90s stereotype SNL skit or if she was trolling me.

One thing that I’ve really enjoyed during this pandemic is watching terrible people getting much better at outing themselves.

This man is a liar and a cheat. t.co/cL9QL4QgIN

The best way to make toast is with a microwave.

I got premier status on United this year! ... oh. wait.

Last night I dreamt that Saucony bought out the Soap Shoes brand and started making grind shoes again. It was very exciting.

Pro construction tip: put your hair back when using expanding spray foam.

"Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV" is gonna be the hit of the summer. t.co/JHKv9O2PnM

dark chocolate and diet coke

And now... my wife's airpods have mysteriously renamed themselves to: Jesus Christ's AirPods Pro #2... t.co/hRVw7BVYUC

What if this whole strange world we're living in is just a way to keep us out of restaurants long enough to forget about straws?

Soon everyone will emerge, drinking out of regular cups and the turtles will be THRIVING.

Woke up with a fierce need to do pigeon pose, so I did pigeon pose right in my bed.

My body (and brain) miss yoga.

Is it Friday yet?

I like how iPhones don't show you which phone number you're texting on any given contact that has multiple phone numbers.

We can get way dumber than this.

I miss fingerprint scanners

Yep. That new Ford Bronco looks awesome.

I tried fighting quarantine depression by overloading myself with projects, but it turned out to just make me overthink and slip into deeper depression. Killer.