Microblog

That moment when you realize that your hot water is made hot by electricity... 52 hours in.

Plz send photos of you using electricity so that we can remember what it’s like

Goin on 36 hours without power. Thankful that we have a basement that stays relatively cool to sleep in tonight.

Ice is the new toilet paper in my city.

The last time I derecho’d was 2014. Delayed flight from Chicago to Vegas to see my mom get married by Elvis... It was much cooler than this 2020, racist, covid, pandemic, trump, no power, depression, derecho.

I’ve never seen trees just snapped in half like they are around Des Moines right now... we’re now 8 hours without power, internet or cell service. What a crazy storm that was.

Wow, sure didn’t take long to start hearing the chainsaws rolling after that gnarly storm.

Pandemic birthday reflection - Giving a fuck is increasingly harder.

There's a concerning number of Trump signs in rural Minnesota.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii want dew-ski.
👏 👏👏 👏👏 👏👏 👏

A blonde woman walking in my neighborhood tonight repeatedly asked me if my car went 200... and I honestly have no idea if I was in a mid-90s stereotype SNL skit or if she was trolling me.

One thing that I’ve really enjoyed during this pandemic is watching terrible people getting much better at outing themselves.

This man is a liar and a cheat. t.co/cL9QL4QgIN

The best way to make toast is with a microwave.

I got premier status on United this year! ... oh. wait.

Last night I dreamt that Saucony bought out the Soap Shoes brand and started making grind shoes again. It was very exciting.

Pro construction tip: put your hair back when using expanding spray foam.

"Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV" is gonna be the hit of the summer. t.co/JHKv9O2PnM

dark chocolate and diet coke

And now... my wife's airpods have mysteriously renamed themselves to: Jesus Christ's AirPods Pro #2... t.co/hRVw7BVYUC