Microblog

My @ring doorbell broke during my city's weird version of Halloween. Great job, ring. Sorry trick-or-treaters.

If I'm taking off my underwear, you can bet your ass that I'm flicking it off my toes for an alley-oop one handed slam dunk into my hamper.

Garth Brooks just picked up half of a (bunny?) on our walk. Just trotting along with straight intestines hanging out of his mouth until he swallowed the whole thing in about 1 gulp. So gross, lol

This new Kanye gospel album is ... somethin.

Cancelled my weekend travel plans so I could stay home alone and tinker on house projects. I could not be more excited about this.

Everybody's gotta hear the shit on WBALLZ

i ordered vermicelli salad and spring rolls from this vietnamese spot and the hostess called me out for basically ordering the same thing twice... feeling so owned right now.

My new hobby is: trying to cancel everything in my social life to relax at home for a bit

Today, @kbroox and I are celebrating 14 years of marital bliss. t.co/4WQrzDBWYf

I wish I could get away with not leaving my house for the rest of the year. 😴

I am at a Nelly show and it is the weirdest, whitest suburban crowd that I have ever seen. Like if you took a Dave Matthews crowd and put them in sluttier clothing, that's what this crowd is like.

I am very excited to be at home with no plans tonight.

I saw Bone Thugs-N-Harmony tonight and it was very fun. The last time I saw them live was in 2003... when we all had much younger balls

es el primer de la mes

If you're the type of rapper that likes to rap over your own pre-recorded vocals, atleast try to spit louder than the track. I'm not trying to watch lip sync contests.

i have this shirt that has a bunch of gnarly kali shit all over it and says "death" really huge across the front in hindi... it is so fun to wear and watch the reactions of those that can read hindi.

Chicago is a beautiful city.

This week: Chicago, Des Moines, Quad Cities. Work, Bone Thugs, Nelly, and my 20 year HS reunion. 👴😴

Weekends at home are so rad. I gotta try to do this more often. Tomorrow: Chicago.

Currently washing my car, listening to The Great Milenko and pretending like I'm in high school.