Microblog

I take my shirt off to brush my teeth

I think I've made a mistake... I cannot stop shopping for Jeep parts.

4-year vest: complete. Feels good to be a free agent again.

Put 1,000+ miles on the new Jeep this weekend! Road tripped through Iowa, Illinois and Minnesota to see some shows, go to a wedding, and hang with a lot of great friends.

This woman at this wedding just told me that I looked like the dude from Deadpool. I assume she meant scarred up Ryan Reynolds and not TJ Miller.

We all know the rain delays and the field goals were just to make Iowa State feel good about their lead. #hawkEYEnation

My favorite part about calling the IRS is listening to their repetitive hold music for an hour.

I really thought that 2019 was gonna be the year that I'd get to kick back and hang out more... Now shooting for 2020... or hopefully some time before I turn 40.

The cameras on this iPhone 11 pro are so damned tempting.

One time, when I was a kid, I was doing something to really piss my dad off. In a fit of rage, he yelled, "Derek! Enough is ENOUGH! And when I say enough is enough, that means enough is ENOUGH!" ... I will never forget how hilarious I found that response to be.

This new Post Malone album is way too whiny boy for me.

That feeling when you realize that all of your weekends are booked for the next 2 months. t.co/YVH9BKtASe

Gene Simmons is a BEAST, man. 70 years old and rocking so goddamned hard.

Last Christmas Eve, Kari, her parents, my mom, Rod, and I all drank a bottle of Templeton rye and bought tickets to a KISS concert. We are now at that KISS concert.

Not having a voice is v annoying.

How to enjoy a holiday weekend: get cold, lose voice, tweak a back muscle

This is a portrait of what childhood was like growing up along the Mississippi River t.co/W424KLFEpc

I had my dog, Garth Brooks illustrated like a Garth Brooks album cover. t.co/CRlyuM8iQo

Heading home after a productive couple days at PayPal HQ. Excited for the long weekend!

Paydays are cool.