Microblog

I just ate a chik-fil-a sandwich, said, "goddamn that was good" and then ate a second chik-fil-a sandwich

Kari comes home today!! This will be very good for my health.

I cannot wait to remodel my garage.

OK. Kari's outta town for the next FIVE DAYS. Who wants to party, play video games, wrestle, swim, grill some pizzas, blare some terrible music, and set my house on fire?

Not gonna lie... It's pretty damned fun having a Range Rover during storms like these.

Thank God, it's finally raining.

Dudes. Kari just left town for the night. Let's party and trash my house.

I've been doing this thing lately where I go to bed by midnight and then wake up by 9. It's wild.

Just wired my garage up for a tesla... Just in case.

Last night, I drunkenly bid on a custom painted piano and wound up winning... I have no idea where I'm gonna put this thing. t.co/xCqSc18jR5

I really wish I would've learned how to bounce my ass before this @bigfreedia show.

Just finished putting down 54 bags of mulch... and I am now wondering if that fancy landscape design was such a good idea.

There's nothin better than the scent of, "oh yeah, I ate asparagus earlier"

As of last week, I have been out of high school for 20 years. 😲🤯👴

I love living in the Midwestern rainforest

Earlier today, I walked off of a diverted flight in Indianapolis to rent a car and race @United to DSM. I won... and I feel good about that.

ORD shut down while on our way home... This 2019 weather can really eat shit.

I am in Virginia.

Just booked a flight to spend my birthday and the end of Kari's summer break in Tokyo with our buds @harper and @hiromiusagi. Stoked!

when yer wife leaves the house to go shopping, you're really doing yourself a disservice by not blaring doom metal