I write, occasionally

Here's a collection of 649 pieces of nonsense that I've written over the past 23.56 years.

  • Pwn the sun

    A couple months ago some friends and I claimed the Sun. We were so happy when we obtained it... but we didn't know what to do with it. After breif discussion we decided that we should sell parts of it as real estate. And since there is so much surface on the Sun (6,069,871,166,000.84 square kilometers) we figured that we could sell it for an insanely low price! This plan would give our fellow land owners one of the best deals of their lifetime and make us ultra rich. In fact, if we sold the entire sun, we would each make a approximately $7,081,516,314,851.66. This is a lot of money...

    Please check out our website and deeply consider purchasing your right to the hottest property you can buy! www.weownthesun.com

  • Stupid Apple and their dope software

    I'm not really a big fan of macs at all, but i will say that they make some incredibly attractive products. I just downloaded the new fimware for my ipod along with itunes for windows.

    itunes is definitely the best download out there right now for mp3 management. It is so clean and so easy. Go download it! It is the best mp3 player, it's free, and you will be so happy.

  • First step, Monitoring

    So the first step to any serious engine modifications is to install a means of monitoring what's going on. This is simply to make sure anything you install doesn't cause you're car to die, blow up, etc and also so you can tune it to get the best performance possible. Last night I took the first step in ordering some new gauges.

    After days of searching I decided to go with a set of Autometer Phantom gauges. They have a good rep and cost less than $180 per gauge (like Apexi and Greddy). The first gauge that I needed was a Boost/turbo gauge. Most of the time, if your car has a turbo, the stock turbo gauge is crap and doesn't give accurate readings. The second gauge that I wanted was oil pressure, which is a pretty common gauge to get for …

  • Bobble Justin and Travel Music

    Yesterday my coworkers and I went to the dollar store after lunch. We bought toys that shoot rubber suction darts. While we were there, Nick and I found the hottest deal... NSync Bobble heads for 50 cents! These are the same bobble heads that sold at Best Buy for like $15 a long time ago (the package even said best buy). I got Justin (so he could chill with Dr Bob) but Nick got JC AND Justin! He's going for the whole set.

    Anyway, Lots of cool things are coming up. This weekend I get to be on stage with Loki because my buddy, Zach rules and is building their website. Also on stage that night is Hatebreed and Slayer... I hope we don't get killed. Zach built Loki's website and suddenly they're getting noticed (rule), so Zach got …

  • New

    Alright so I've got a new look for the site, it defintely needed a change. Anyway, a lot of the stuff is the same. The big changes are: new design/colors, links to friends, more cars, biography, and I will have audio/videos soon.

    If you have a personal site and are my friend, be sure to send me a picture and a link, then I'll add you. What do you think?

  • St Louis Demo

    I picked up the rental van Thursday, then Kevin and I drove down to Kansas City. Once we got there, we met Oliver, Chris, and their friend Kevin. They played a bad trick on us. Chris didn't show up for a while cause he had to take a crap or something, so Kevin said that he was Chris, even though he's a pale skinned red-head, and Chris is tan with longer, brown hair. That had me so confused for a while. Anyway, they showed us a movie that the made called "Soap Movie." It's a full length movie! I didn't see the whole thing, but they showed me the highlights, and it was pretty good.

    The next day, we went soaping around Kansas City and the suburbs. They took us to this one rail that is about a foot/foot and a half off the ground, insanely …

  • Bathroom Printers

    So, I just printed something out and when I went to get it, I walked straight to the bathroom. When I got there, I was like, "wait a minute, I don't have to go to the bathroom." So then I walked back to the admin center, got the document I printed, and wrote this article.

  • Cubed

    So Friday was pretty exciting. We got to move cubes at work. Now I have a much cooler one, and I'm near my buddies. It's going to be a lot of fun. I took a Panoramic shot of my new cube, Click Here to see it. Once you're there you can click on the picture and drag to get a 360 degree view of where I work.

  • Breaking down on the interstate rules

    So I'm driving home from work all speed demon, road rage style and I'm in the fast lane of "Interstate 80" doing 85 or so. I come up on this semi doing about 65, with a motor home next to it doing about 70.... the far right lane was open, so I punched the gas to the floor to dart accross 3 lanes in between a motor home and the truck behind it... As soon as I hit the gas my car jumped once (cause the turbo kicked in hard)... and then it jumped right back down, vibrated, and just wanted to coast for the rest of the day. Luckily, I still had enough speed to squeeze through the hole and over to the right lane. I then coasted off the shoulder, parked and started calling for rides.

    After I got a hold of my uncle to come pick me up, I got out …

  • Pool

    So I was playing pool tonight with this girl at a bar called "Drink." and the coolest thing that ever happened to me, happened. I was stripes, and I was shooting at my 13 ball. I had it all lined up perfectly at the left side pocket. I aimed, pulled back, shot, and POP...

    The 13 and the cue ball both jumped. The cue ball flew completely off the table and hit the floor... this happens all the time, so it's not really a big deal. BUT the next part of the story is the coolest part... the 13 ball that I shot at jumped off the table as well. However, it not only flew off of my table, it flew all the way over to the table next to us (where 2 other guys were playing), bounced off their far wall, and came back into their right hand side …

  • Couch Pics

    which of these do you like best (to hang above my couch)? Here are some of the responses I got so far:

    Alexei: 1, 2, or 4 ... those are the best
    Denise: 1st one (the first four are good)
    Harper: 2
    Jeff (mv): the one with the guy grindin on the rail is pretty tight (4)
    Kari: 2,4,8
    Kevin: 6 is my first choice... then.. 2
    Marja: I like the 4th, 5th and 8th ones best. I do like the 4th one just bc ppl will be like "what is that guy doing???" then you can explain it to them
    Mart: Either 4, 5 or 8
    Nathan: 3
    Victor: 1,4 because its long length width wise and it would look good because a couch is wide.

  • Why wouldn't I guess: 278,564,356,980

    [15:46] <nata2> Useless Trivia: China produces ---------- eggs per year.
    [15:46] <nata2> 1st hint: ***,***,***,*** Question score: 5 points
    [15:46] <nata2> 2nd hint: 278,***,***,*** 30 seconds remaining.
    [15:46] <nata2> 3rd hint: 278,***,***,*** 15 seconds remaining.
    [15:46] <scottv> 278,000.000.000
    [15:47] <scottv> 278,000,000,000
    [15:47] <Kevi> 278,000,000,000
    [15:47] <nata2> Time's up! The answer was -> 278,564,356,980 <-
    [15:47] <broox> WTF
    [15:47] <scottv> what
    [15:47] <Kevi> HAHAHAHA

  • Talon to Eclipse body kit conversion.

    I get so many emails about this and I'm sick of rewriting it, so here is a small tutorial on how to convert your Eagle Talon to use Eclipse body kits. It's actually not too tough. Here's what you will need (parts):

  • eclipse tail lights
  • eclipse head lights
  • eclipse reverse lights
  • eclipse body kit (of course)
  • 15 feet of 12 guage wire

    I think that's pretty much it, however you might have to pick up some bolts here and there.

    The front bumper cover is kinda tough because it requires the most customization (if you're keeping the actual bumper on, otherwise it's easy). I decided to keep my front bumper in case I get into a wreck. To do this you'll have to cut the corners off of the actual bumper so your cover will go over it. …

  • Couch Wall

    My apartment is so close to being complete. The only thing I really need now is some kind of artwork to hang above my couch. The wall looks really bare. The couch is a greyish-green suede material, and my entertainment center and lamps are black. I've had a couple suggestions which were good, but I'm looking for more. I definitely don't want something that everyone else has.. or can get. I want some kind of cool photo or sculpture or painting tht has to do with me.

    At first I was thinking that a really wide, not-tall picture of someone skatebaording would be cool. So you could just see the first half of the board and maybe a shoe. Then I was thinking that a photo of me and 2 buddies sitting on the couch would be cool. Then a …

  • Girls are gross

    There are a few things I hate. And one of them is discussion about female hygene. Especially commercials on TV and emails like this:

    There is an ongoing problem of tampon applicators being flushed down the toilets. When you flush them, they end up in a pit where there are pumps to send the waste up to the main drain line. The applicator will get trapped in the pumps and damage them, unless I remove them, which is an unpleasant task and takes me away from my other duties, which costs the company money.

    PLEASE use the receptacles provided for disposing of these items .

    Thanks to those of you who have been using the proper receptacles - I really appreciate it!

    Thank you,
    Reggie Hamilton

  • funny

    * mrkraus has joined #pioneer
    <mrkraus> whoa
    <mrkraus> weird
    * mrkraus has quit IRC (Client Quit)

    It's little things like this that are really really funny to me, and I don't know why.

  • Being young and making cash rules

    The guy that led my orientation at work just asked my buddy and I, "How much more time do you guys have?" We were like, "Um, what?" He said, "this summer." So we got really confused. and then he's like, "When does school start back up?" "Ummm, we're full time, sir"