Microblog

If you've got an iPhone X, you should check out my buddy's innovative use of the facial recognition sensors. t.co/DuxP9GHt8X

Just walked out to my car, parked at a nearly expired meter to find some stranger buying me more time because, "man, a ride this sick doesn't deserve a parking ticket" 🙏🙏🙏

I was just debating doing a whole30 experiment, but then I read the whole30 rules and immediately changed my mind.

P.S. I want a burrito rn

Burritos are pretty much the only lunch that I ever want to eat.

Dinner cooking music while Kari's home: chill downtempo stuff.
Dinner cooking music while kari's away: Ministry. Very loud Ministry.

My buddy, @TheKevinSwitzer IM'd me that it was MOTHER FUCKING PENCIL TIME, and then told me to go check the mail. He was right... It's mother fucking pencil time. t.co/Om2efqpT3n

This new Eminem album is very politically charged. It also sucks.

Kari Brooks throws an amazing party. My friends and I throw terribly thought out after parties.

Geezus

Is it party time yet

Anyone have any solid holiday drinks to make for masses and serve out of pitchers/jugs?

"I would be so irritated if I had children with you" - Kari bickers while we make dinner.

My tax guy just told me that after this year, a good chunk of my deductions are gonna go away cause of the tax bill. #NotRichEnough

Lose gray hat, buy new gray hat, find old gray hat. #derekstuff

Some friends and I are trying to provide a good holiday for a few Des Moines families in need this year and we could really, really use some help. If you're able and want more information, plz reach out!

I would like a glock and a rari

@ring is there any possibility of me being able to download the ring chime tones as mp3s for a home automation hackathon?

Aside from the cops n shit, my buddy Ben and I are like top 5 oldest dudes at this hip hop show.

No pocket knives allowed at hip hop shows.