Microblog

Got up early and vacuumed out my GTI for the first time since we started this house remodel 7+ months ago... Felt good, man.

I Just put some shorts on. Both legs at the same time. On the first try. 🖕🖕

Curtains are for old people... Old people have curtains.

I am becoming Mr DGAF.

Got my German traffic cam speeding ticket in the mail. I look pretty badass. t.co/7wxtWtamvW

So I'm sitting here at work and Kari calls me from the pool, panicked about a baby bird being stuck inside her car... Summer breaks are hard

I kinda want to start a photoblog of children being assholes in public

Dinosaurs will die

God bless America

Sorry about the hip hop and Sonos sub, neighborhood.

Picking up an M-series in Germany bit.ly/29cjYlR

I've been woken up by an alarm every day this week... This is not a great way to live.

Tile dudes: "yo Derek! Can we get the college World Series on a TV?" ... "I don't have a TV" *heads explode and implode everywhere*

I shouldn't have eaten that much breakfast pizza.

Gas line: ran. New range: installed. Expecting cookies from @kbroox very soon.

Eatin a grilled cheese that has spam and a fried egg in it. 🖕🖕🖕

Things tile guys don't give a shit about: your painted walls.

I wish this were me IRL.
youtu.be/--MeKE_OUNU

Started hanging a new door and quit halfway through the process... Sometimes you just wanna take the night off and lay around.

Toilet reviews are hilarious.