Microblog

I want a pair of Umbros with biker shorts built into them again.

Leaving Southeast Rio Drive bit.ly/285S6Iz

I only feel like I'm doing real carpentry when I get to break out the chisels.

It's so weird calling Germany, having them answer and say a bunch of things in German, then switch over to perfect English at your request.

My steed awaits. Next week: Germany! t.co/27tgJg4TLn

Watching basketball on TVs next to hockey on TVs is fun because it shows how basketball players are little baby boys.

"Those white walkers are terrifying"

Find my iPhone success story. Left the ballpark. Checked lost and found. Used the find my iPhone app. Bam. t.co/DrpuFFT7TT

This ball game just went from 0-0 to 10-0 in the bottom of the 6th. wut.

This old woman in front of me at Menards came to the hardware store to buy a bunch of giant butterfingers and some Orville Redenbacher, lol.

This old woman in front of me at Menards came to the hardware store to but a bunch of giant butterfingers and some Orville Redenbacher, lol.

Who wants to ride bikes to the Iowa Cubs game today?

Anyone wanna talk about gorillas and/or moms?

Our new back yard is amazing. This place is gonna be so good when I'm done with it.

"Well, that fuckin black chain link fence looks likes shit!" - a fun woman yells to our neighbor about our new fence.

Dear new neighbors... Yes, my father-in-law and I are working on electrical stuff today. No, we did not cause this power outage.

Light switch makers all use the same form factors for interchangeability but then use differing shades of white to make people like me crazy

Just poured myself a glass of water cause we have a kitchen sink now. It's p cool having a kitchen sink.

I need some new carry-on luggage to maximize carry-on-ability. What should I get?

"Hey, we were just loading up the truck to come install your countertops and realized, we don't even have your countertops, lol. oops!"