Microblog

Benny the butthole ran away tonight. I caught him in a nearby park. What a butthole.

NUMBER TWO, BABAYYYYY t.co/NYAAU4uClb

Kari took a bite of this dessert and said, “hmm.. this is cold, bitter.. and salty... just like my heart”

I really enjoy breaking traffic laws

Typing chick-fil-a with autocorrect turned on is one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to do

Bout to do a DNA test for the new pup, Benny Brooks.. and I’m pretty sure it’s gonna say that he’s at least 25% butthole.

I just overheard Kari, on a work call, say, “stop breathing like a chicken.”

🤔

Sony’s launching a phone with a zoom lens... It uses a little periscope to fit the physically moving glass into the body. I probably won’t buy a Sony phone, but this is so cool.

My tax man just said that I owe the IRS a third of what I was expecting to owe.

carlton-dance dot gif

That feeling after you adopt a new dog and then learn that he has a pre-existing, fully torn, and untreated ACL...

2 years ago, I saw DMX perform in Des Moines and then fist bumped him at a club before anyone else noticed he was there... At the time, he seemed like he was on the up... Addiction, man... RIP

I just ordered a gold dangly boy

When you’re friendly and curious with tech support on the phone, it seems like they just wanna hang out and shoot the shit about tech forever. I love it.

I really like how apple randomly fails to send texts to group chats that contain non-iPhones. Very helpful. And infuriating. t.co/FjWXZY8UbM

Please @ me

That wait between vaccine shots tho...

Fav @Sonos feature. t.co/Novvyo7CIA

Don’t forget about zombie Jesus and how he lifted off into space.

diplo + tommy cash + some horror shit like suicide boys. This is the art I want.

the sky is very clear and bright tonight. I see stars that I don’t normally see. I wish I could travel to their orbits.