Microblog

kill me.

Ever wish you were King Midas? I do.

Hangin with these dudes for #salvatorfestatthehall t.co/opHkuvdlf7

Is a speeding ticket valid if the cop spells your license plate wrong on the citation? Asking for kbrook.

I cannot stop thinking about Nipsey Hussle, Lauren London and how anyone could just step in and fuck your whole shit up at any given moment.

I took the day off just to work on my house and it feels awesome.

Folding women's clothing is one of the most confusing things I've done. These shapes and textures don't make any sense.

I would like to go back in time and decide to *not* buy + hang + finish 11 solid core doors in my already finished basement.

DaBaby is better than Lil Baby

Can you imagine anything better than a diet mountain dew?

Come on Eileen

These girls were just hitting on our Uber driver from the sidewalk. Kari convinced him to stop and check out the situation. We are now sitting in the backseat while he's on the curb putting his mack down.

A couple of my neighbors' cameras caught some dude peeping in windows late last night... It's been an exciting morning on the ol cul-de-sac.

Man. Nipsey Hussle tweets, "Having strong enemies is a blessing" and then gets shot up a couple hours later... I always thought that dude should've been way bigger than he was. RIP.

I'm gonna go to bed riiiiiiiiiight NOW

Weezer are goddamn nerds, man... pretty good tho.

The world is a small place, man.

Imagine this important moment in history...
"We're going to make bigger cans of beer. What should we call them?"
"tall boys"

I was in bed for 12 hours last night. Hoping for 11 tonight... stupid 9:30 meeting.

"turn it up Brooks! Dixie chicken! Brooks you bitch!" - my my beloved father-in-law