Microblog

Whenever someone refers to their body as "their person" I debate punching them in the face.

You t.co/JMiLgDF0eM

Kari just told me that she is attracted to cows.

Tonight, I ordered a slice of pizza called, "the ass blaster." It was tasty.

JIRA is the worst piece of software I have ever used

dear @lutron, plz give us caseta motion sensors and in-wall outlets. 💙

Check this out. I'm gonna go to bed early for fun.

How many times can you tell your dog he's a good boy before it loses its meaning?

My coworking space is helping out 3 families in need this Christmas. Read about them here (and plz consider donating a few dollars): gravitatecoworking.com/adopt

Today in yoga class, the old woman next to me ripped a big ol fart. It was beautiful.

last night, in an attempt to not be fat butts, kari and i ordered a medium pizza instead of our usual large, but... the pizza place messed up and paid us back by bringing us 2 pizzas for the price of one. #foreverfatbutts

The software that powers Range Rover infotainment systems is some of the buggiest shit I've ever seen. It is unreal.

... that feelin when you pull your brand new, stupid ass, cell phone out of your back pocket to find the screen is split.

Just kegged the latest homebrews. A super tasty Belgian pale, and a strawberry milkshake IPA. One of the most interesting beers we've made.

2.5 years after this tweet, I went to Germany and brought home an M4. t.co/kF0WFD4Qnb

how do you use twitter

I dunno why, but I'm still continually amazed by how bad Google is at messaging apps.

I sprinkle fancy cheeses on my dog's food in the morning

Today, ellen and Gwen Stefani gave away this thing that I worked on.

eat pizza erryday