Microblog

this is basically how i do everything in life. t.co/xclDEgJOcY

The Money Pit... They've got what it takes, and it's going to take everything they've got.

BREEZY, BREEZY, BREEZY JUST JUMPED OVER JUMPMAN

My 6 month old iPhone 6S has seemingly just bricked itself... kewl.

Birthday lifestyles

Show me the pho

Getting sick while traveling is such a bummer. I just wanna hang out. 😕

Children in the mornings. Why?

Plans: Sleep all night. Get in the hot tub. Shower. Slam a dewsk. Go to work.

Night 2 away from home this week. Insomnia. Feel like I should be at home working on our house.

Yesterday in Iowa: 82 degrees. Currently in Chicago: snow.

Am I allowed to take off my shirt on an airplane? /cc @united

I think Kari got bleach on my t-shirt

Chicago bound. No construction for a week.

Called a cab and now I'm basically riding in a worse uberx with Ralph. 90s Oldsmobile. No meter. Life stories.

Kari and I each took ubers to the suburbs last night. Now we're home with no cars and no ubers. We are good adults. t.co/HK9f5vrQdt

Air scratching

That burger gon' go ham

Thanks for fixing wolves, @kanyewest

"This is not the way I like my mornings to be," Kari says as I wake up before she's left for work