Microblog

Thinking about getting the words, macho man tattooed under my eyes

The car dealership just called @kbroox to tell her that they were done servicing her car and she is making them bring it to her. 💪💁

Hesitantly schedule a delivery to my house with a window from 8-10a. Set alarm for 7:45a. Dudes ring doorbell at 7:40a. Trolls.

Just got tickets to the Wild vs Blackhawks game in a few weeks. Excited to hang in the Twin Cities for the first time in ~5 years. Plz send suggestions!

I just ate a cow heart

I have been laying floor tile for 12 hours. First timer. My body hates me.

Whenever someone refers to their body as "their person" I debate punching them in the face.

You t.co/JMiLgDF0eM

Kari just told me that she is attracted to cows.

Tonight, I ordered a slice of pizza called, "the ass blaster." It was tasty.

JIRA is the worst piece of software I have ever used

dear @lutron, plz give us caseta motion sensors and in-wall outlets. 💙

Check this out. I'm gonna go to bed early for fun.

How many times can you tell your dog he's a good boy before it loses its meaning?

My coworking space is helping out 3 families in need this Christmas. Read about them here (and plz consider donating a few dollars): gravitatecoworking.com/adopt

Today in yoga class, the old woman next to me ripped a big ol fart. It was beautiful.

last night, in an attempt to not be fat butts, kari and i ordered a medium pizza instead of our usual large, but... the pizza place messed up and paid us back by bringing us 2 pizzas for the price of one. #foreverfatbutts

The software that powers Range Rover infotainment systems is some of the buggiest shit I've ever seen. It is unreal.

... that feelin when you pull your brand new, stupid ass, cell phone out of your back pocket to find the screen is split.

Just kegged the latest homebrews. A super tasty Belgian pale, and a strawberry milkshake IPA. One of the most interesting beers we've made.